CONFESSIONALS: I’m a third-year English major with no clue what a thesis is

By: Paige Riding, News Writer  I have something to confess that I’m really upset about, SFU. I’m finishing up my third year under your roof...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 23–29

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your rage issues are back this week. Good thing social distancing means you can’t keep...

DEAR PEAKIE: Parting is such sweet sorrow

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, You’ve basically raised me this semester. I’ve done everything you’ve prescribed in your column! I left the Red...

SFU history department shuts down because “who cares, what’s done is done”

Written by Marco Ovies, Arts Editor On Friday, SFU’s incoming president Joy Johnson announced her plans to shut down SFU’s Department of History. The university...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 16–22

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Oh, did you hear that on the grapevine? It’s an earwig, and she wants you.  Taurus...

SFSS election debate held in freezing outdoors to keep cold-hearted students refrigerated

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Tens of students gathered in Convocation Mall on Wednesday afternoon to shiver in the cold as candidates raced to...

Lonely first-year fed up that no one has saved him from his inner darkness yet

Written by Jennifer Low, Peak Associate A first year SFU student is threatening to sue the university for false advertising: namely, their failure to provide...

SUBJECT: Time To Unionize, Fellow Tall Pale Male Bartenders of Vancouver

Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer From: [email protected] Subject: The Revolution Stouts Now Comrades in Ales, Have you ever found yourself wondering about the struggle that so many...

Friends beg their friend-turned-Twitter-activist to let them live ignorantly in peace

Written by Kim Regala, Staff Writer Have a seat, Steve. Before we begin, we want you to know that we’re only doing this out of pure...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 9–March 15

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 You yearn to rest this week, but you may find it difficult to properly recharge....