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A Day in my Life: Remote Co-op Student

Humour

The nine-to-five grind but make it pandemic

Humour
Humour
1 min.
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Photo courtesy of Eric Rothermel via Unsplash

Written by Kitty Cheung, Peak Associate

8:16 AM

  • Wake up to sound of CNN news blasts on coronavirus — thank you, family
  • Resent choice to move back home for the summer
    • But . . . where else could you have gone?

8:30 AM

  • Snooze alarm

8:35 AM

  • Snooze alarm

8:40 AM

  • SNOOZE. ALARM.

8:52 AM

  • Breakfast: I B U P R O F E N (1)

9:00 AM

  • Morning Zoom meeting! Create ambient noise for call via family argument outside bedroom door 🙂

9:34 AM

  • Accept the intrusive micromanagement from your mother that you think you deserve
  • Resist urge to look up Avatar: The Last Airbender memes 

11:57 AM

  • Open Zoom session for 12 p.m. staff meeting
    • Feel good about your punctuality!
  • Realize you need to download the newest version of Zoom, making you five minutes late 

1:03 PM

  • Lunch: H E A R T Y    C U P   R A M E N (1)

1:14 PM

  • Resume meeting; forget to mute yourself. 

1:15 PM

  • Receive Slack message from boss: “just looping you in . . . the sound of your noodle slurping is disturbing”

3:41 PM

  • Early Dinner: H U M I L I A T I O N (and reheated leftovers)
  • Browse Avatar: The Last Airbender memes on Reddit 
  • Make catty, passive-aggressive comments to your gamer sister
    • What you SAY: something polite about “lowering noise levels”
    • What you MEAN: “Self-isolation but for your voice. shut up”
  • For how many sedentary hours have I stared into darkness? Who will I become?
  • Think fondly about DIY craft and fashion YouTubers from your missing youth

5:00 PM

  • Work day done! Digital burnout just beginning 🙂
  • Maybe other things happened after this
    • But they are not important

Law of capitalist hamster wheel: your work day is the only day in the life that matters.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society