By: Kelly Chia, Editor-in-Sick
Dear body,
We’ve had our differences these past two months, huh? Since you’ve wrecked my stomach day after day for no apparent reason, I gave up garlic and onions. Apparently they can irritate your sensitive system. I did that FOR YOU. And you know what? It didn’t make a difference! #AlliumsareAlright. So thanks for three weeks of avoiding some of my favourite foods in the world to figure out what works for you. Give a girl some consistency!
Well. There’s one thing you can be less consistent about.
That’s actually what I’m writing to you about today. Yeah, besides the tummy issues, you and I have a . . . problem. I know you’re trying your best, and public transit is rife with air-borne illness, but come on. I’ve started to count the months between being ill. We are well for a measly month and a half before something happens. And last week? You decided to take me out again! Do you know how much my co-workers hear me do an impression of Donald Duck because my throat goes all hoarse?!
I try my best to keep you safe — I socialize with the same group of people, I mask everywhere, and I wash my hands. I take vitamins, I sleep well . . . I do my part! I’m just asking you for a simple favour. I need you to not look at a cough and turn it into a week-long affair. Or more: remember when we were sick for a month?
Well. It’s not all you. We always cringe when people cough or sneeze loudly next to us without covering their faces. The CDC has all but dropped essential COVID-19 protections, and now we have to worry about measles, too. Again! It was supposed to be eliminated!
And, well, clearly if my doctors say to just wait out that constant dry cough we get, that’s all it is. But you can’t also be pumping out anxiety on top of that! Think of little old me.
The point is: I can’t be taken out constantly by some minor ailment, body. There’s only so many times my coworkers can hear me cough over Google Meet before they start conspiring to get me! At least push it to three months so I can blame my sickness on the season. It’s embarrassing at this point, okay?!
I’m holding a truce: you don’t subject me to sounding like a horse, I don’t get milkshakes and pizza every week. Deal?
