By: C Icart, Humour Editor

Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel! I decided to switch things up today and film this from my car while sipping my $9 Starbucks because my manager said it would make me more relatable. What do y’all think about this new setup? Let me know in the comments below! 

Alright, so if you’re not up-to-date, you should definitely go check out part one of this STORYTIME. I’m not going to repeat everything, so . . . Y’all know the drill; like, comment, and subscribe. Also, click the little bell so you’ll be notified every time I post a new video . . . Oh my god, why do y’all think I won’t sit here and wait till you click? Go on, don’t be shy; click the bell and join our amazing community. I truly have the best fans and would not be here (and rich) without y’all, so thank you so much for buying all the scam products I advertise. It means the world to me. 

Speaking of scams, today’s video is sponsored by Colonial Fantasy. Have you inherited from your ancestors a strong, unexplainable desire to own land you may never visit just so you can have a fancy little title and brag about it to your friends? Well, Colonial Fantasy is for you. For a small price, you can buy a tiny piece of land and be a Lord or a Lady (or whatever the gender-neutral alternative to that is because it’s Pride month, and my manager said I should try to look like an ally)! So check out the link in my description and live out your Colonial Fantasy today!

switches to a clip of me in a poorly lit room wearing glasses, and my hair is a little messy 

Hi! Editing me here! Just wanted to slip in and clarify that this is a GAG GIFT, I repeat, a GAG GIFT. I was definitely trying to mislead you into thinking you’d actually own land, but I can sense y’all are on to me, so I’m backtracking. Please do not cancel me, okay? Thanks! 

switches back to me in the car looking fabulous in this natural light and my no-makeup makeup look that I will swear on everything is me with a bare face 

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah! So, I go to SFU . . . Oh my god, I know y’all are going to leave a bunch of comments below saying I only go there because I couldn’t get into UBC, and while that is true, it is still rude to say. Did you know that SFU is only one letter off from STFU? The former is where I’m girlbossing to get my degree, and the latter is what you should do! Just kidding, I’m riling y’all up for engagement. Is it working? Sound off in the comments! 

Anyways, so there’s this place on campus called Mackenzie Cafe. It sells, like, all sorts of food. So, like, I go there all the time to get stir-fry. They have this cute little setup and you get to pick what you want in it, and I am not kidding y’all. I literally order the same thing every. single. time. 

So picture this, right? I walk into Mackenzie Cafe, walk up to the stir-fry station and get ready to order my double-tofu stir-fry on rice noodles with all the veggies EXCEPT carrots (fuck carrots), with thai chilli sauce and all the toppings. Y’all got that, right? Thai chilli sauce. So I’m ordering, right? And then . . .

Oh shit, y’all, my camera is about to die, but part three will be uploaded soon! In the meantime, you can check out the other videos on my channel. Again, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! Thank you so much for watching. Bye!