What Grinds Our Gears: The WiFi in SFU Residence ghosts me more than my dates

I’m living in the dark ages with this internet connectivity — complete with a plague quarantine

The only high speed my laptop gets is the velocity with which I throw it out the window. Illustration: Maple Sukontasukkul/The Peak

By: Paige Riding, News Writer

When I lived on Residence this past school year — you know, before the world went to shit and everything closed or went online — I shared a common enemy with hundreds of SFU students. And no, it’s not finding your TA on Tinder. It’s the WiFi in that concrete box I called home for six months. 

Picture this: you’re writing up an assignment on Google Docs (unless you’re a sociopath who writes on Microsoft Word, or even worse, PAGES) and all of a sudden, the dreaded “Trying to connect” graces the top of your document with its burning, misanthropic blue box mid-sentence. Fantastic. The only thing saving my laptop from being chucked out of Towers are these tiny windows that wouldn’t let me if I tried.

In a sick, ironic twist of fate, after all the money I spent to study here at SFU I don’t actually get to do the damn studying. I had hoped that the statistics wouldn’t lie and that living on campus would actually help my GPA. That’s kind of hard to do when the WiFi here is so poor that getting through one YouTube video about the literature I didn’t read for my exam the next day won’t load. How rude.

Yes, the WiFi is bad everywhere at this university. SFU Secure hurts everyone. But on SFU Res? It’s like a rain cloud on a sunny day. And it ends up causing a lightning storm. And that lightning strikes your house. And your house gets set on fire. And, well, you get the point — your paper still isn’t finished 

SFU, fix your WiFi. We have family and friends at home to FaceTime. We have Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood episodes to stream. Oh, and we also have homework to do. Make use of those Residence and Housing fees you rack up each semester, hmm?