SFU’s newest accredited sport: professional transiting

Illustrated by Marissa Ouyang

Written by: Dhruv Taware

Since its inception, SFU has been the undisputed best university to ever be located on top of Burnaby Mountain. One of the main reasons for this popularity is the university’s association with sports; the school is popularly known as “Canada’s NCAA University.” However, more often than not, only a small fraction of the university’s students care very strongly about our sports teams. In order to eliminate this distance, SFU Athletics is planning to accredit a new sports team for 2019: public transiting.

Professional transiting (PT) is a New Age millennial sport which is taking metro cities by storm. It is hard to pinpoint its origin, but some say it has been around for decades, and they attribute its newfound place in mainstream awareness to recent spikes in gas prices and parking rates.

Illustrated by Marissa Ouyang

PT is an individualistic strategy sport; the primary objective of the sport is to get from point A to point B as fast as possible. The players are judged based on multiple categories: time taken, elegance, and number of transfers (nobody likes to switch).

Just like most sports, PT players are rewarded when they show some panache. Players usually do this by showing competence in balancing, awareness, and intimate knowledge of their local transit system. PT players generally compete during rush hours, as this tests their ability to find a vacant seat or balance between the narrow aisles without intruding on anyone’s personal space.

Illustrated by Marissa Ouyang

The sport has a lot of potential, and it is gaining traction in the international community. Some are even calling it “Parkour but less flamboyant and easier.”

Given the number of students who will now be able to apply for sports scholarships, it is clear that SFU is investing in the future. Students applying to the team said they have been practicing very hard.

“I take the B-95 from SFU to downtown everyday at 4 p.m,” said one student who is clearly in it to win it.

The inaugural world PT championships are just around the corner, making this sport one to keep an eye on.