- The first sign of civilization at Duthie
Holy FUCK that was the longest ride down the mountain ever. I’m pretty sure the driver was going slower than last time.
- Burnaby North Secondary
High school: when students still know the meanings of happiness and adequate sleep. The most stressful thing going on is that Biology 11 test that they’re overly prepared for.
- The BC Conservatory of Music
Ah, yes, the traumatic memories of our parents forcing us to learn piano and ignoring all our requests of “MOM, Pleeeeeeeaaaaase let me quit! I hate it and piano is for nerds!”
- Playland at the PNE
All the rides! All the excitement! All the stuffed animals! All the mini donuts! All the games lost . . . All the vomiting. Wait, that escalated quickly.
Does this city never stop setting up temporary walkways? Are we even building anything? I’ve seen the same scaffolding up for over a year now — either we’re building the Queen a new palace or construction workers need to take Efficiency 101.
- Dollar Tree
Not nearly as dirt cheap compared to Dollarama. What a shame. Talk to me when I can walk in and buy a week’s worth of high blood pressure for less than five bucks.
- Hipster coffee shops
If you think that $2.50 is below enough for a coffee, you are sorely mistaken. What do you want more: to be an ethical person or to satisfy your inner cheapskate?
- The Downtown Eastside flea market
This is a fun roadside market to buy vintage band shirts, platform shoes that have been in the hands of 10 other people, and belts that will transport you back to the ‘60s again. If you’re not afraid of looking like you’re trapped in the wrong decade, why not go wild?
- Army and Navy
You didn’t have a childhood if your mom didn’t drag you into Army and Navy to buy reasonably priced ladybug rain boots or a sun hat that you conveniently “lost” at the art gallery. You thought everything looked straight from the “girl next door” catalogue. Your mom was banking on you destroying your new shoes on the playground on Monday. Of course she ain’t buying you those expensive light-up sneakers. Also, did anyone try the in-house cheapo grilled cheese?
- Nesters Market
Oh look, the overpriced supermarket cloned itself! At least this time they’re not pandering to only broke SFU students — the Yaletown crowd will probably appreciate the grossly inflated sparkling water.
- Harbour Centre
Or as I like to call it, the less prison-like campus. One might actually get some work done in the dead-silent library.
- The church across from Burrard Station
Raise your hand high in the air if you need to repent many unspeakable sins (raises hand). If you’ve got a couple hours of free time, why not go listen to a sermon that will undoubtedly put you to sleep? Don’t worry, you’ll feel like an even worse person when the donation basket comes around.