How to be ready for the weather at SFU

If you take any of these measures, you’ll already be more prepared than SFU admin

Illustration by Tiffany Chan

By: Tiffany Chang

What to do when it’s raining cats and dogs  

It seems impossible to stay dry when it is pouring outside ALL the time. Apparently the clouds have minds of their own since they just randomly choose to excrete their not-so-glorious liquid onto us students whenever and wherever. Maybe they’re actually shedding tears for us miserable university students? While we can appreciate their sympathy, sometimes we aren’t prepared for it. Everyone knows that showing up to school in a simple raincoat and holding an umbrella doesn’t do the trick. SOOO . . . why not use a tarp? Tarps are great! If they work for tents during camping trips, they’ll definitely be an awesome way to prevent yourself from being soaked to the bone by the end of the school day! Simply set up a job description on websites like Indeed or LinkedIn and hire other young people who are in desperate need of work to hold up the tarp for you as you walk to class! Try it!

When there is 12 feet of snow

Ah yes, snow! SFU students’ indisputable number one enemy! If TransLink and SFU fail us again and you have to trek down the mountain yourself, here are a few options:

  1. Snowshoes: Forget those heavy ol’ snow boots which mostly collect dust at the back of your mudroom closet! They are clearly no match for the insane SFU weather disasters, and the weight of them will just slow you down! Snowshoes are the way to go!

  2. Skis: Hey, it’s faster than walking, isn’t it? Bring your skis! If the next 145 bus isn’t showing up for the next two hours, what have you got to lose? Plus, skiing is great if you want to make your way down the mountain in a fun and efficient manner.

  3. Flare guns: With what we’ve experienced this past winter, owning a flare gun doesn’t seem like such a bad idea! Since they’re normally used as distress signals, you can use it to send out a not-so-subtle cry for help. It’s also super helpful if your phone dies. Go get one as soon as you can before you forget!

When it’s -50 degrees Celsius

The climate is brutal, no doubt. Even on dry days, (God knows we rarely get any of those) it’s still bloody freezing. Have you ever wanted to know how to truly stay warm? Wait for it . . . here’s the answer . . . bubble wrap! Work with me here — if you wrap yourself in at least five layers of bubble wrap before heading to school, you’ll be protected. Make the measurements, tape the ends, and place the wrap over your regular winter attire — around your arms, legs, neck, and head! You’ll feel as snug as a bug! With all of this gear, you will no longer be at mercy of the elements (or SFU)!