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If SFU were like an RPG . . .

1) Research assignments and expeditions would be all the more adventurous to take part in!

2) Costly building renovations could be completed simply by getting the school a new graphics card.

3) Stealing people’s belongings would become even easier (especially in the men’s locker room).

4) The collection of classroom credits would still be exhausting, but you would finally be afforded the opportunity to duel that asshole from calculus tutorial.

5) Even with different options to choose from, dialogue between classroom peers would still probably feel very one-dimensional and contrived.

6) Skipping through a terrible lecture could be achieved by pressing “A” repeatedly.

7) Map waypoints would save you the trouble of getting lost all the time.

8) Instead of starting your undergraduate degree with money and having debt by the end, you could start your degree with nothing and accumulate a fortune as you go.

9) All the egregious mistakes and glitches caused by the course selection process could be fixed with a patch from the main architects themselves (that is, if they feel like releasing one).

10) In one fashion or another, an old white guy would still probably end up being your main antagonist.

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SFU Pipe Band wins world championship in Glasgow

By: Dani Carmack, News Writer On August 15, the SFU Pipe Band took home first place at the 2026 World Pipe Band Championships, a competition held annually in Glasgow. The band is now the reigning Grade 1 world champion for the first time since 2009.  This marks the seventh time the SFU Pipe Band has won this title since its foundation in 1966. Pipe major Alan Bevan told CBC, “It’s the top prize in the world of pipe bands.” The SFU team came in first out of 13 teams competing in the Grade 1 category, the most prestigious grade in the pipe band’s nine-grade system.  “One of the things that has been very prominent about the SFU Pipe Band over generations is this feeling of family.” —...

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SFU Pipe Band wins world championship in Glasgow

By: Dani Carmack, News Writer On August 15, the SFU Pipe Band took home first place at the 2026 World Pipe Band Championships, a competition held annually in Glasgow. The band is now the reigning Grade 1 world champion for the first time since 2009.  This marks the seventh time the SFU Pipe Band has won this title since its foundation in 1966. Pipe major Alan Bevan told CBC, “It’s the top prize in the world of pipe bands.” The SFU team came in first out of 13 teams competing in the Grade 1 category, the most prestigious grade in the pipe band’s nine-grade system.  “One of the things that has been very prominent about the SFU Pipe Band over generations is this feeling of family.” —...

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SFU Pipe Band wins world championship in Glasgow

By: Dani Carmack, News Writer On August 15, the SFU Pipe Band took home first place at the 2026 World Pipe Band Championships, a competition held annually in Glasgow. The band is now the reigning Grade 1 world champion for the first time since 2009.  This marks the seventh time the SFU Pipe Band has won this title since its foundation in 1966. Pipe major Alan Bevan told CBC, “It’s the top prize in the world of pipe bands.” The SFU team came in first out of 13 teams competing in the Grade 1 category, the most prestigious grade in the pipe band’s nine-grade system.  “One of the things that has been very prominent about the SFU Pipe Band over generations is this feeling of family.” —...