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Woohoo: Maple Syrup

If there is any link that branches our cruel, unforgiving world with that of the divine, it is sweet Canadian maple trees.

Need proof? Well firstly, maple syrup literally goes with everything.

Baked yams? Yes. Oatmeal? Obviously. On ice cream? Duh. As a salad dressing? Of course.

There isn’t anything maple syrup can’t make better; it’s realistic to state that maple syrup is the food of all foods. Think about it, without maple syrup, pancakes are just bread. The purpose of pancakes is solely to deliver maple syrup into our mouths.

If the gentle but sweet taste of this dark and thick syrup doesn’t convince you that it’s truly a gift from a higher force, it’s worth noting how recent research suggests maple syrup is beneficial to our health, too!

If there is anyone out there who doesn’t agree that maple syrup is our connection to the Gods, then they simply aren’t human.

Boohoo: The Toronto Maple Leafs

Dear Toronto Maple Leafs, no one likes you.

Sure, Canucks fans trashed and set fire to their own city after losing a game, but at least we have passion.

I’ve never seen a team play with such apathy, and fans cheer so pretentiously. While you may be part of the original six teams to form the NHL, this doesn’t speak to your skill level. I’ve seen first graders skate with more grace.

Just because your team name pays homage to the beautiful maple trees of Canada, doesn’t mean you have to be as idle as them on the ice. Seriously, Disney on Ice has a better chance of making the playoffs.

Lastly, Leafs fans, have you ever considered why the Hockey Hall of Fame is located in Toronto? The answer is quite simple; it’s the only way you will ever get to see the Stanley Cup.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society