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Loser parents still living at home with adult kids

Humour
EIC
EIC
2 min.
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BURNABY — In a trend which has become all too common in recent years, a local family with three grown children currently in university has opted to remain living together, a decision which has garnered ridicule for the nearly 50-year old parents.

Although believing when they first had kids that they would be completely independant by the time they reached 45, Mary and Herbert Winfried say their transition into autonomy hasn’t been as smooth as they thought.

“Oh man, when I was 34, I was sure I would be living away from the kids by this point,” explained Herbert, thinking back. “I pictured us being totally independent, being able to just buy like one carton of milk a week and only doing a load or two of laundry, I couldn’t wait.”

Unfortunately, things just didn’t work out as planned and the couple remain under their own roof with the kids, a reality that they claim has put a real damper on their social life.

“We can’t stay out late, or have wild shindigs and worst of all our friends won’t stop making fun of us,” Mary explained. “Everyone we raised kids with is off travelling the world or taking sailing lessons and we’re stuck here like losers.”

While the Winfrieds do admit that there are some perks to still living at home, like not having to pay for their kids to live in residence, they say they’re really hoping they can get out soon, or at least get rid of their kids.

“My friend Marty lives in a retirement plaza in Florida and says he can totally hook us up with a place there” Herbert said. “I don’t know if I want to do it though, I mean I still kind of like it at home, not that I couldn’t live alone, I’m just waiting for the right time.”

Despite what their friends might think of them, the Winfrieds say that at least they have the support of the kids they support.

“I do think its a little pathetic that they still live with us, but if they’re not going to kick us out that’s okay, they just need a little more time than some parents,” the couple’s oldest child, Bill, who just celebrated his 29th birthday, told The Peak. “They probably would just be lost without us though, I don’t know what mom would do if nobody was asking her to make lunches every morning.”

Although they continue to look at themselves as losers who will probably live with their kids forever, there is hope for the Winfrieds. While statistics show that almost half of parents in their 50s still live with their kids, the number takes a dramatic dive when they reach their 60s.

“No matter what people might think, our situation is fine for now,” Herbert concluded. “Maybe I could just ask my parents to move in, then at least we’d be cooler than them, I mean can you imagine, still living with with your kids at 80! They’d be such losers!”

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society