Classic Square Academic Hat
You graduated from either a university or high school and now have the minimum requirement to get some terrible job.
Classic Square Academic Hat Made Out of Construction Paper
You either just graduated from kindergarten or are a character in a sitcom who got caught in a web of lies and this is part of your last ditch effort to convince your parents that you didn’t flunk out of college to become a tap-dancer.
Jester’s Hat
Your degree is a joke. Congratulations, you’ve just graduated from an elite clown college. Hopefully you’ll get into a good clown grad school, the only real money is in clowning academia.
Pope Hat
Umm . . . man, I should’ve researched this more. You just graduated from, I don’t know . . . Juilliard?
McDonald’s Team Leader Hat
I could make an easy joke here about being an arts student or not graduating, but I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m just going to say that this hat probably says that you don’t know what “graduation cap” means.
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By Brad McLeod
Illustrations by Ariel Mitchell