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World of News!: March 19th

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By Sylvester Wallace

Several reports are coming out of the Shell building in residence regarding the sighting of the rare and elusive seventh year student, a creature whose existence has long been speculated by prominent anthropology majors.

The last sighting of the mythical creature was in 2009, when a christian club spotted a shadowy figure in a bath-robe hunched over one of the sandwich trays.  However this was never substantiated.

More recently, what was thought to be a seventh year’s nest was discovered in the basement of McTaggart-Cowan Hall.  Tucked away in a storage closet, custodial workers found thesis drafts, shredded Mr. Noodle packages and SFU rec tags dating back 2004.

Administrators advised any students who spot the haggard creature to avoid any confrontation and immediately  book an appointment to declare their major.

 

 

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society