Written by: Zoe Vedova, Humour editor
Hello, world! My name is Sheela McGummery
and I blog about my baking!
I am a proud woman of the suburbs and I
bake to fill my life with the sort of sweetness
I used to find in my marriage. LOL
For any baking inquiries, please email
VEGAN LEMON BAR RECIPE
Now here is a neat twist on a fun, summery treat that will really boost your neighborhood cred when you show up to your stepchild’s little league BBQ with a tray of these healthy snacks!
I can assure you this recipe is a foolproof way to get into the inner circle of moms who secretly do MDMA behind the concession stand at youth baseball tournaments.
God, I wanted in on it so bad, hahahahaaaahahah . . . we’ve all been there, it’s time to be out in the open about loving . . . Lemon bars!
Just licking the icing sugar off the top . . .
I came up with this recipe last month.
It was one Saturday morning, after returning from my biweekly meeting as the treasurer on the board of Moms for Cross-Fit for Toddlers, and I had sooooo many lemons left in my fridge. (Way too many for just gin and tonics, am I right, ladies?! Find my Alcoh-lishous Adult Gin Juice Box recipe here.) I had to whip up something simply fantastic for my step-sons baseball BBQ!
That snake in the grass Rebecca was going to be there parading around a pie, as if that pastry harlot could craft a perfectly formed pie crust herself and didn’t purchase a Tenderflake® Pie Shell for $3.99 from Thrifty’s like the kitchen coward she is.
We have such a fun relationship.
My therapist (find her at www.facebook.com/Cul-de-sac_Saviour_Moms/) says baking is a constructive way to release my anger towards my late father, who abandoned my mother and I to become a vaudeville actor in Winnipeg in 1971. Though my obsession with light, lemony, summer nibbles is only to protect the health and safety of my Family!!!1! Just like that time I had to knock that insurance salesman out cold with a Yellow Pages phonebook (they’re still good for something) and I pulled his unconscious body out to the street to make it appear as if my neighbors had run him over with their car.
I was acting on karma’s will. Those people are always parking on the street when the community bylaw makes it perfectly clear you cannot park where the sidewalk line is painted WHITE. They do not get to evade the municipality’s cold hard judicial judgment when I’m around.
Back on to the lemon bars. I firmly believe that baking has the power to bring families together. My eldest (biological) son has just returned from his first-year at university, and I was SO worried he’d turned into a liberal while away in the big city. But if there’s anything that can bring family values back into our lives in this modern age, it’s MY vegan lemon bars.
This recipe simply needs organic lemons. If you can’t afford them, maybe you should try this lemon bar recipe: Low-Income Lemon Bars I made for the annual Frugal Friday! Organic lemons show you really respect the lemons for everything the faithful fruit has done for our country. Especially in the Second World War.
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