By: Petra Chase, Arts & Culture Editor
Like your average 20-something budgeting in Vancouver, I exist without a full-sized mirror. This makes for treacherous mornings for your aspiring Gilmore Girl. I’d like to think I exist in a perpetual 2000’s teen movie getting ready montage, but some mornings, I put on whatever clothes call my name and hope for a stunning power-clash. With one look at myself from the waist-up in the bathroom mirror, I cuff my jeans till my calves feel the breeze, throw on whatever shoes tickle my fancy, and waltz out the house thinking I’m serving looks.
As soon as I encounter a full-sized mirror when I’m out and about, my illusions come to a halt. Those chunky FILAs I’ve been strutting around in? I look like a child standing in adult shoes. Without a mirror to see the whole ensemble, how was I supposed to know that a red and yellow combo made me look like a hot dog slathered in ketchup and mustard? Truly offensive.
Unfortunately, there is no way for me to fix this situation. Fashion trends come and go as quickly as the affordable full sized mirrors on Facebook Marketplace get marked as sold. Some of the worst trends from past eras have been creeping into the spotlight. I fear any day, I might see a mannequin wearing acid wash jeans and a sheer shirt over a neon bandeau in the glass of a Forever 21. This is the attire of the monster that haunts me in my dreams, while “Summer” by Calvin Harris echoes eerily like it did in every shopping mall in 2014. So I relent to fashion gambling — a brave task.
I’m a person who likes to push the envelope. This can be a strength, but when it comes to fashion, it’s definitely a weakness. On one particular fall day, I had an unearthly longing to wear my summer dress. I knew my legs would be cold, and the look was a bit dressy for the grocery store, so I threw on some jeans underneath. Anne Hathaway killed the dress-over-jeans look in her historic red carpet ensemble, but alas, I took one look in the mirror behind the vegetables in the crisper and I had actually become a 2000’s Disney character. I’m holding out for the day Kylie Jenner brings it back and I guarantee it’ll be the Robson girl staple.
I might impulse-buy a polka-dot skirt at the thrift store envisioning the quirky spirit of Jess from New Girl, and next, I’m going for a ruffled medieval collar because if Harry Styles can make it work, why can’t I? So what if I look like an extra fluffy Lord Farquaad?
Then there was this time I decided to pull an off-duty model look. I’ve been a fan of athleisure ever since watching Sue Sylvester on Glee (let’s be real — athleisure queen), but I still like to dress like the girl boss that I am. There I was in a track suit, tie, and loafers: the epitome of class and casual. Instead, I was disappointed to look at the mirror and see a sim in the middle of an outfit change.
It was at this moment I knew I needed to change my attitude instead of my clothes. As Hannah Montana’s wise mantra says, “You can change your hair, and you can change your clothes [ . . . ] but you’ll always find your way back home.” I was reminded no number of outfit changes will change the fact that home is where the full sized mirror isn’t. I decided to spark a movement for everyone who struggles in silent mirrorlessness. With the mirrorless aesthetic, anything goes.
Fashion faux-pas change everyday, and brands manufacture a new set of trends every season to keep us buying new clothes. To those who are told their fashion choices are “interesting” on the daily, and spend everyday anticipating that first confrontation with a full sized mirror, I implore you to stop trying to fit a style. With the mirrorless aesthetic, every aesthetic in existence is jumbled up and clashes in harmony. There is NO need for mirrors. There’s only one rule to the mirrorless aesthetic, and I must say it’s a very serious one: no acid wash jeans.
