SFU Student Update

Everything you need is not in this email ;)

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You’ve already made it farther through the article than 97% of the student population. ILLUSTRATION: Siloam Yeung / The Peak

By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer

Key Updates

SFU innovatively stands by mediocre Health and Counselling services 

The location of the office being at the bottom of the Maggie Benston Centre, lack of lighting, and general difficulty in getting an appointment has been deemed “just alright.” The Board of Directors have more concerning matters to focus on like obtaining a mascot costume so McFogg can have a romantic partner. It will still take a week, two, or maybe a whole semester for a student to meet with a doctor, but don’t worry! We are positive you will have healed by then. On that note, the Health and Counselling staff is almost entirely made up of white people, so good luck on finding a health advisor to feel represented and understood in your marginalized experiences. 

Announcements

The events we suggest to you are not expired

We are currently doing our best to make sure the event listing we have outlined will take you to upcoming events, but sometimes, we forget no one proofreads these! We slip some events that have already passed here and there just to spice things up. If they have already passed, then just imagine what it would have been like had you gone. Remember, it is also partially your fault for relying on us to offer any upcoming event of your taste. You attend this school!

Funding Opportunities: Eligibility to be considered

If you are considering studying in-person and long programs abroad, this not-so-diverse, inequitable, and exclusive program is for EVERY student. Especially for international students! What do you mean it’s near impossible to join the program with how expensive tuition fees are? 

Co-op: Not everyone will do it 

Yes, Co-op is a spectacular opportunity for you to be considered an employable person post-graduation. Does that mean if you don’t do it you are doomed? We’re proud to make you think so! Join us in our upcoming event where we offer tools and knowledge on how not doing Co-op might just be the biggest mistake of your student career. You know you can’t afford the time off school for work experience, but that sounds like a you problem. 

Employment and volunteer opportunities 

Escalator opening up at convocation mall stairs

SFU is looking for students that can work fulltime with five years of experience working in construction. SFU has decided to save people time by adding an escalator up the stairway for convenience. However, to make this project possible they are looking for students who would like to work for their education. The project is said to last about three to four months, which is nearly a semester. SFU has promised all the student workers to waive their tuition during the time the project takes place, but will not provide details on how to accommodate students’ studies at this point. SFU sees no moral qualms with this.

Volunteering for SFU Residence marketing content 

In the upcoming spring semester SFU Residence is looking for a volunteer who can go about the SFU Burnaby residence area and film content to feature on social media platforms. You and your friends could be the lucky pals showing how snowy it gets on campus or how people litter, even though there are organized bins. Better yet, show the world how tiny your room is, but be sure to redecorate it so it feels more like a home and less claustrophobic. 

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