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My hear me out cake

Humour
Peak Web
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COMPOSITE: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak IMAGES: 1) Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak 2) Courtesy of Google 3) Courtesy of OpenAI 4) Courtesy of Walmart 5) Courtesy of Marvel

By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate

  1. Times New Roman (size 12)

This font has gyatt to be the original “hear me out.” With its classy formatting and fancy lowercase “a,” this is definitely the most bangable of the fonts. You cannot look at it and tell me you haven’t thought, “dayammm, if only Times New Roman was a real person.” 

2. Google Maps

What is more smexy than something that knows how to navigate the way to your happy spot (it’s White Spot, you sick fuck)? And goddamn hearing a smart strong voice ordering you around. Just driving in a car, listening to Google Maps tell me what to do to get there is enough.

3. GPTZero

People being falsely accused of using AI is today’s version of the Salem Witch Trials. But unlike those alleged witches, us poor souls have a sexy superhero on our side. ChatGPT’s cousin — GPTZero. The powerful entity that can prove innocence and condemn the villains. All heroes have their kryptonite, and GPTZero might accidentally accuse you of being an AI (that’s OK — love-hate relationship). GPTZero is the brain and the brawn with power radiating off. 

4. The massive SFU Teddy from the pop-up Bookstore and Spirit Store

It’s (almost) cuffing season in Australia, so I definitely need a big boi. Big arms? Check. Warm and cuddly? Check. What is this big ole’ softy missing? Nothing. This fine shyt will surely get the job done and then stay with you all night long. You just have to walk yourself down to the SFU pop-up “Spirit” Store. 5,000% mark-up during convocation!!

5. Venom

I don’t know about y’all but my partners aren’t getting the job done right as of recently. So, this calls for some anti-hero-esque saving. Bring him in to have a first-hand view of  some mind blowing action and his long, luscious tongue will be the reward. You get it, girl. 😉

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society