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Cards against SFU

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Peak Web
Peak Web
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By: Gabrielle McLaren

Black cards

  • The hottest item in the Bookstore this season is ________
  • To increase their ratings, the SFSS President has started handing out ____ in the AQ
  • After being neutered, McFogg the Dogg only craved ________
  • To finance a gondola, Andrew Petter has started to sell students’ _______
  • The only thing rarer on campus than _____ is _____
  • Ever since Triple “O” Tuesdays stopped, SFU students have resorted to eating _____
  • Studies have shown that _________ is the best way to repay your student loans.
  • A piece of flow-chart-format graffiti in the women’s bathroom on the sixth floor discusses _____ in great lengths
  • Why did the koi fish in the AQ pond die?

White cards

  • A racoon orgy outside my class
  • A Beedie mug full of tears
  • The SFSS Board of Directors
  • Mysterious club tables in the AQ
  • Four 95s in a row, but no 145
  • Pain™️
  • A free parking spot on the Burnaby campus
  • A TA on the verge of a complete and utter emotional shutdown
  • Some goddamn fucking sunshine
  • WQB requirements
  • A sense of purpose
  • Freshmen with hope in their eyes and textbooks in their backpacks
  • Sacrificing your psychological wellbeing for a 3% grade boost
  • Crippling your internal organs with a steady diet of Tim Hortons and pain
  • Iced coffee
  • Forgetting that SFU has a campus downtown
  • A professor who can’t turn on the projector
  • Motherfuckers vaping outside the library
  • A quickie in the avocado
  • The naive ambition of first years
  • UBC students
  • Winter Preparedness
  • A student on the Surrey campus who isn’t in IAT
  • The cockroach living under your bed on res
  • Tripping on the rickety step going down to the bus loop and cracking your skull on the concrete below
  • Human contact
  • The sweet smell of ass
  • Bagpiping rehearsals in the middle of class
  • The SFSS forgetting about land acknowledgements
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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society