By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate
There seems to be a trend among young people that seem to think bubbly perms are all the hype. Judging by the posters that have been put up around Burnaby Campus, urging people to “say no” to so-called “Broccoli Heads” — no one else agrees. Rather, it is a terrible mistake that needs to be rectified.
It has been said that people getting these haircuts (particularly preteen boys) are doing it because their inner Disgust are telling them they are lesser than. This toxic emotion then coerces these people into an “aesthetic” look taken from the fibrous vegetables that should go into our mouths.
This tree-like entity controls their minds and convinces them it’s essential to have these tenacious tresses to achieve the perfect GymTok body, unfortunately for everyone else. These brocco-not-bros register for any gym nearby. Gym regulars like the SFU FASS One peer mentors interviewed by The Peak say they now go out of their way to work out at different times because of these irritating Broccoli Heads. Though they are not the only ones changing their ways, Reddit is full of complaints where people say they now work out in home gyms “cause it’s inevitable that gyms are gonna be a natural habitat for broccolis and jerks.” These children with strange Kermit hair are bothering the regular, and to further the irritation, these fake broccoli only work on abs, as they are going for the basic muscular look.
With only the idea of getting fit and strong in mind, these kids are barely even able to do abs. But if they do, the most they are able to get is hot girl fit — where the body is all for show, and cardio is non-existent — and for all this work over a green hairstyle . . . The gyms are just a cyclical system run by more Broccoli Heads, where the dread and longing for more meaning sinks into their souls, creating nothing more than a cycle of green gym bros.
Let’s stop the tragedy of Broccoli Heads! Say no to the style!
