By: Izzy Cheung, Staff writer
Attention all SFU students!
We are speeding up construction of our newest housing structure, The Magic Treehouse. As a result, we have begun accepting resident applications for this revolutionary housing concept. It combines edgy and contemporary designs for a unique housing experience.
The Magic Treehouse seeks to provide the comfort of the forest while maintaining the downtown glamour of city skyscrapers. Our new building is constructed from raw, tree-sourced wood and stainless steel. The result is an ambitious attempt at a colossal treehouse residence space. Time travel devices are not included in this residence’s amenities, but it still provides magic, we promise.
This residence will surely become your new favourite building on Burnaby Mountain. We provide various services that you’re unlikely to find anywhere else. Located at the top of The Magic Treehouse is our vine-swinging service, which allows residents to swing — via vine — all the way down from Burnaby Mountain. With this innovative amenity, there’s no more need for a gondola!
Situated in the heart of Burnaby’s portion of the Trans Canada Trail, The Magic Treehouse grants residents unlimited access to the beauty of SFU Burnaby’s nature. Residents will never feel lonely as each room has glassless windows, allowing wild animals to come in and out of the rooms at any given moment. You’ll see various animals, including squirrels, bears, and maybe even a certain Scottish Terrier with a fabulous mustache. Think of this as an innovative way to enjoy the company of animals that aren’t stuffed with cotton in your own personal space.
Rooms in The Magic Treehouse are well-stocked for all residents to enjoy. Each non-private single room has a high-quality Hoverbrella, Avocado On A Stick, and SunShaders. For a small price, your dormitory can also include a mattress. We also provide a faulty microwave, bottle opener, and a dustpan with a large hole in it. Electricity, broom, desk, bookshelves, and storage drawers are not included. You’ll also all be sharing one bathroom!
Applying is as easy as one, two, three! We have two different term plans for you to choose from. You can now apply for housing in the Fall 2024 semester — applications are due by June 6, 2023. We’ll be opening applications for the Spring 2025 semester from July 17–18 of the same year.
The ideal housing candidate for The Magic Treehouse is a driven, determined individual with lots of experience living in residence. You’ll be sharing a floor (and occasionally a room) with many other students and animals, which can be intimidating for a first-time renter! Please keep this in mind when applying, as you’ll only have ten minutes to accept your housing offer if this is extended to you. The initial application fee is $2,000 and does not count toward the final payment.
We have a few small requirements for all successful applicants. You must:
- Be a student (SFU, CapU, Langara, KPU, TWU, UVIC, or any elementary, middle, or secondary schools — UBC students are not permitted).
- Be over 5’4” and under 5’11”.
- Be born on a Monday, Thursday, or Sunday — those born on Tuesdays are prohibited. UBC students born on a Tuesday attempting to apply will be pulled in for further questioning.
- Have a Netflix subscription.
- Have finished grade six with a minimum GPA of 3.75.
What are you waiting for? Apply for residence at The Magic Treehouse today!
