Ten problems only SFU students have

Laugh (or cry) with me, fellow SFU student

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Very calm, very cool. Nothing wrong here. Illustration: Siloam Yeung / The Peak

By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer

  1. Frequent Flooding

Why put a bathroom on every corner if half of them are out of service? Nobody wants to walk by the same paper towel-less, puddle-filled bathroom on their way to their classroom every day. The number of times I’ve put my phone down right into a deceiving pool of water next to the sink is countless. The only comparable sight to the AQ men’s bathroom (that remained flooded for half a semester) would be the entryway to the Cornerstone Starbucks when it rains or snows (though brooms do a good job of flushing it out). Shout out to the bathrooms on the Vancouver campus though: y’all are pristine.

2. Getting snowed in on top of the mountain 

Ah, our inaugural snow problems. It would be endearing if they weren’t so consistently painful to deal with. From NovemberFebruary, you may as well keep a bedroll with you at all times because you never know when you’re going to get snowed in. My advice? Find a good place to spend the night before they all get filled up (SUB nap room may be busy but comfy, the seating below Images is cold and grey, but rather intimate). This is a good opportunity to set up in the dining hall and take advantage of its 24-hour service while buses wait for the flurries to pass. 

3. Waiting for a gondola 

I’m really excited for my children to take the gondola up the mountain. You know. In like, twenty years.

4. No service (anywhere)

My advice to new students? Never take an important phone call near Images Theatre. Or by the Mackenzie Cafe Subway. Or in Blusson. Or while waiting for your coffee at Renaissance. Just avoid the AQ in general. Don’t answer your phone until you’re outside. There are some areas where you can hear the person on the other line, and that’s not in the North parking lot 

5. Construction 

I’ve gotten used to the sound of jackhammers. I’ve navigated through and under scaffolding elegantly, and gained a muscle memory of which lanes are closed while driving up the mountain. New condos, we love. Will I ever be able to afford one? Unlikely, but at least I can admire some architecture that isn’t grey. 

6. Forest critters as friends

From racoons in classrooms to bear sightings on hikes, if you weren’t an animal person before, you are now. Being a student at SFU has allowed me to see a deer up close. Real close. Next to the window of my car in the middle of a deserted road close. Head nearly popping into the window close. 

7. People asking where the AQ is 

If you’re lost, just assume you’re in it. No, I don’t know where to find the dinosaur footprints on the campus. What do you mean that’s a thing?!

8. Food lineups: Starbucks warzone

You couldn’t wait to get to campus to order your grande vanilla cream cold brew and apparently neither could anyone else on 144 bus. You arrive at one of the two Starbucks to find a seemingly endless line of your fellow travel companions also itching to get their caffeine fix. You tell yourself after paying $7.04 that next time, you’ll make a nice coffee in your nice travel cup at home, avoiding not only the line, but the hit to your bank account. And then the next morning, you’re somehow in that line again.

9. Distance from classes . . . or parking lots

Can someone please explain why the parking rates are the same at South Parking as it is to all of the other parking lots on campus? North and East are relatively expensive, but in all fairness, are quite close to the school. But after arriving on campus on a busy Monday morning, driving around for nearly 20-minutes before taking a parking spot at what may be the bottom of the mountain, I really think my 15-minute walk up the hill through Cornerstone justifies at least 50% off my pay rate. Hint hint: always park at West Mall instead 🙂

10. Burning your s’mores 

Your hands were cold. You weren’t paying attention because you were distracted by a group of daycare kids trotting across the way. Really, it’s still edible once you sandwich it between the graham cracker and the Costco-grade chocolate square. There’s really no point in contemplating — you know you’re gonna eat it regardless. It’s the only thing getting you through the day.

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