The mind behind the memes: An exclusive interview with @sfu_raccoons
By: Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer
With over 1,100 followers on Instagram, @sfu_raccoons has become a hit hub for showcasing SFU’s favourite furry friends. I interviewed the person behind @sfu_raccoons to get the inside scoop on their growing social-media stardom; their first post was made in October 2019 and they’ve only grown since. To preserve the mystery behind the account, they have chosen to stay anonymous.
Why did you start @sfu_raccoons?
That’s a good question. My friends actually were always making fun of me because I was just constantly always recording the raccoons in residence, just on my story on my own Instagram. And after a while I was kind of like, “I have a lot of pictures in my camera, my story always has raccoons on it at some point,” and I thought, “There used to be raccoon Instagrams [ . . . ] Maybe I should start one.”
I’ve seen those other accounts, and they don’t have nearly as many followers as you do. What do you think makes your account stand out from theirs?
It’s largely in part just consistency. I think in the beginning, I was definitely posting a lot. There [was] a staff-in-residence, and he sent me this Google Drive with all of these pictures that he’d taken [of raccoons] in residence and I was like, “Whoa, okay, this is cool.” So in the beginning, a lot of them were those, and then just ones I had on my phone. So I think the fact that I just posted a lot helped. And it got shared around really fast too.
Yeah, you have over a thousand [followers], that’s crazy.
Yeah, it kind of blew up. I didn’t think it was going to.
What’s your favourite raccoon meme? Either that you’ve posted or you’ve seen around?
I think I have two. It was actually the very first one I ever posted: Chonk. Because he was just sitting on the steps and he kind of seemed slumped over [ . . . ] The other one I really like is, I think it’s just a screenshot of a Twitter post, and it was like “me during the day” — I’m going to be healthy, I’m going to start eating right. Then it was “me by 2:00 p.m.”, and it was to the Doordash guy and it said “Give me the gorbage” with a really fat raccoon and I was like, “That’s literally me.”
Along the same lines, do you have a favourite SFU raccoon?
It’s probably Chonk.
I know there’s been that one tailless boy, he’s just around. And i’ll just randomly get submissions from people where they’re like, “Oh my God, it’s the tailless boy,” and he’s just always around and he seems to be particularly, what’s the word, rebellious, I guess. The first time I ever saw him I was coming up the stairs towards Images [Theatre] and I just saw his butt sticking out and I didn’t see a tail so I was like, “Is this a koala bear?” Like I literally didn’t know what it was. I kind of turned the corner and he looked at me and I was like, “Oh my God, it’s a raccoon.” Those are the two that really stick out.
So the account is mainly run by direct message (DM) submissions, right?
Yep.
Have you ever gotten any weird DM’s that you couldn’t post? Or just totally left field DM’s?
I think they’re the most recent ones that I got, actually. I was actually kind of curious I was like, “What am I going to do with these?”
I ended up just posting them. It’s raccoons having sex on the balcony in Townhouses. At least it looked kind of PG, you can just kind of see the one behind the other. I was like, “Aw, man.” And I got three of them from different people and they were like, “I also saw the raccoons having sex.”
Okay, you guys are recording this, it’s one thing for me to [say], “Look at this.” They’re the ones stopping in the middle of their walk to campus and are like, “Let’s record these raccoons doing it.” But yeah, [I’ve gotten] nothing that wasn’t raccoon related.
That’s good. So, how do you come up with the captions?
In the beginning, some of them were just a commentary [on their actions]. Some of them are references to either pop culture or just other memes that I’m like, “that’s kind of funny” [ . . . ] There was one where the raccoon was right up to the camera and I was like, “Mr. Gorbachev, boop that nose,” or something stupid like that. But yeah, sometimes I struggle, and I just make something stupid.
Fair enough. If you could somehow speak to a raccoon and have it understand you, what would you say?
Such a funny question. My instinct would be, “Do you wanna be my friend?” Or “Do you wanna be my pet?” Why do they always do weird stuff with their hands [like rubbing them together]? But yeah, I really don’t know what I’d ask a raccoon. But is he smart? Would it be like talking to a kid, or an adult? There’s too many variables involved in thinking of a raccoon being able to talk.
Which side will you be on when the raccoons inevitably overthrow us and take over the Burnaby campus?
I feel like I’ll be the one leading the charge.
Right at the forefront?
Yeah. You know how the Lorax speaks for the trees? That would be me, but with raccoons.
Some people would say that these kinds of memes, and this kind of normalization of raccoons,, invite people to get closer to them, potentially putting them at risk. What do you think about this idea?
I remember this smear campaign that went out against the raccoons, I think it was in The Peak. I saw that and I was like, “This anti-raccoon propaganda!” I was not happy. I feel like most people are smart enough not to go up to the raccoons directly. Like yes, they’re cute. But at least so far I haven’t gotten any submissions where the people were going right up to them or putting their hand out or anything. So I mean if you’re taking videos from afar, I don’t see the harm in that. I think it’s pretty common sense not to be like, “Hi, let me pet this wild animal.” But [where I work,] we do get calls from people, they’re typically drunk, that have gone up [to them] and they’re sitting with security getting bandaged up. Don’t pet the raccoons, man.
What do you think Chonker is doing right now?
I’m really sad about Chonkers because he used to always sit on those steps that are between Towers and Dining Hall. There’s been some habitat destruction that’s been going on because of all the construction in residence. So those stairs are completely destroyed, they’ve cut down all the bushes where baby raccoons always used to come out and chill. So Chonk’s steps are no longer there and I haven’t seen him around and I’m actually kind of worried. He would just sit there and act cute and people would bring him food, and I was like, “What a good guy.” I was always looking forward to seeing him every time I leave Dining Hall and go down the steps to be like, “Chonk?” But, yeah I haven’t seen him. I hope he’s thriving.
Did you have anything you wanted to say?
UBC just followed me, and their thing is @ubc.forbidden.cats. I [thought], “You only have 40 followers! Well, that’s a shame.” But their thing is new, it started in December. They’re funny, it just seems like it was a response to [@sfu_raccoons]. But also good to know that UBC also has raccoons. I followed them back because I thought that I [was] not going to continue this war between the schools, because this is about the raccoons, and not about us.
You hope to bring people together through raccoons?
Yeah, literally. We are going to foster peace and diplomatic relations between the raccoons of our campuses. That’s a little dramatic, but yeah.
Lesser-known SFU Clubs to help fuel your artistic soul
by Marco Ovies, Arts Editor
Here it comes: the near-end-of-the-semester blues. I don’t know about you, but Week 9 is always the toughest for me because a) my classes start talking about our final papers and exams, b) I’m ready to end the semester but it seems so far away, and c) March 6 is Dentist Day and I don’t know what to get my dentist. To help me deal with that added stress I usually try and partake in some form of artistic relief. So if you’re like me and need some form of creative outlet to help relieve your stress, check out these clubs.
Are you a fan of analog cameras and want to develop your own film? Well look no further than The Darkroom Club. Personally, I didn’t even know SFU had a darkroom, but this club is trying to make this more accessible to students. It is open to all skill levels and there are plenty of people in the group who are willing to teach newcomers how to start developing their own photos. Plus, the Facebook group hosts cover photo contests where members can submit photos to be used as the group’s cover photo. If you would like to inquire more about joining, or if you just want to use the darkroom, you can leave a message on the Facebook group or contact [email protected].
Do I know how to knit? Knope, but these guys sure do. They are super beginner-friendly and include all the supplies needed for their workshops, so you can show up and get straight to knitting. On their Facebook page they stress that they exist to “help facilitate healthy stress-reduction techniques to improve your well-being.” On March 3 they are hosting a crochet cat hat workshop for beginners, so be sure to RSVP to that on their Facebook event.
If you want to join the ranks of metal-music enthusiasts then look no further than SFU Metal. According to their information page, they are a club meant “to bring metal musicians together for the purpose of playing music and to discuss music theory within the metal community.” I don’t have an extensive knowledge on metal music to say anything insightful here, but you can check up on meeting times and new music on their Facebook group page.
Looking to put a little more boogie in your step? You can sign up for dance lessons with SFU’s Latin Dance Passion. They teach both Bachata and Salsa (not the dip, so leave your tortilla chips at home). According to their website they “specialize in helping ‘two left feet’ students become the best dancer they can be,” which is good news for me since two left feet is all I’ve got. Lessons are every Wednesday and are offered at a variety of skill levels. For newcoming participants, students pay $50 for Salsa or Bachata, and it’s $60 if you would like to participate in both — both prices account for the entire semester. Returning participants get $10 off the newcomer price. You can check their schedule online to see which class is right for you.
The 2020 bad-CAT Undergraduate Conference: celebrating the WORST our students have to offer
Written by Zoe Vedova, Peak Associate
The bad-CAT Undergraduate Conference is an annual, terrifying exploration of the diversely terrible student work that gets half-assed at this university. The worst students from all our schools and programs have an equal opportunity to present awkward performances, ill-conceived installations, and horrendously formatted papers.
Students are encouraged to submit projects to bad-CAT 2020 with zero foresight and zero contemplation of what it means to commit to presenting at a conference. Wondering if you’re shitty enough to apply?
Have you ever . . .
- Printed a bibliography without clearing the grey highlight?
- Handed in a smarter sibling’s paper you found lying around your house?
- Winged a presentation with an impromptu Mary Jane-fueled interpretive dance on the political economy of mass media?
- Used a quote that took up an entire page of your paper and then randomly attributed it to The British Journal of Criminology?
Great! Apply now!
The deadline to apply for the conference is February 31.*
All projects submitted through email must include:
- Corrupted files and broken PDF links.
- Document margins that have been clearly dicked around with.
- A 200–1000 word excuse for why your project is terrible.**
- A reference letter from a TA agreeing you are an awful participant.
*Per bad-CAT regulations, no projects submitted before or on February 31 will be accepted.
**If there is any indication you got someone to read over your application before you submitted it, you will be immediately disqualified.
Here’s what other students have to say about their bad-CAT experience!
“I was honoured to be the only first year allowed to the conference after I accidentally enrolled in Communications, thinking I’d clicked Computers and then never correcting it.”
- A. Salib, first-semester academic probation.
“The conference isn’t for plain old coasters, you know. It’s for the students who’ve achieved their academic anti-apotheosis scraping against the ocean floor of failure without ever giving up to the peer pressure of taking a gap year.”
- T. Glasser, fourth-semester academic probation.
“Bad-CAT is the most inspiring event of the year for me. That’s why even though I’m always accepted, I never show up.”
- P. Orin, second-time Required To Withdraw.
SFU wants to formally recognize YOUR disengagement from our community. Apply to bad-CAT whenever you realize you forgot you were supposed to apply for bad-CAT!
DISCLAIMER: bad-CAT Undergraduate Conference has NO RELATIONSHIP to the FCAT Undergraduate Conference, besides the fact that we totally plagiarized their conference name and structure and then changed it a bit so it wasn’t obvious that we copied. Just like we expect you to do on your submissions!
QUIZ: Did you glow up MORE or LESS than SFUNET?
Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer
SFUNET has gone through some major transformations lately. (You know, that Wi-Fi network that’s always there, but never really gets used because it’s overshadowed by the far superior SFUNET-SECURE and eduroam.) Before, you had to desperately re-click the network names and refresh browser pages. Now, a fancy new pop-up screen, all pretty and red and starry, begs for your login information! Though, I’m still begging for an actual connection . . .
Have you risen above this facetious face-lift? This quiz will tell you whether you’ve glowed up MORE or LESS than SFUNET. Let’s see if those wishful New Year’s resolutions are holding up, or if they’ve already fallen through, just like your plans to open a book for once during reading week.
When someone tries to connect with you, you:
- Smack them in the face, hoping they shut down emotionally just as much as you have
- Finish all of their homework, do their laundry, and call their tax consultant for them
- Pretend to accept them at first and then cut them off soon after
Pick an on-campus job.
- What do you mean? I’m already taking eight classes. Isn’t that enough?
- Underpaid, under-respected, newly unionized research assistant
- I’m useless, I just know how to rock a Scarlet Letter palette
When you leave campus after class, you:
- Immediately dissociate with the help of another salty stress meal
- Do your next week’s homework while running on a treadmill and drinking a green smoothie full of kale, matcha, and Google sheets
- I haven’t left SFU since 1965
Who do you relate to the most?
- That preschool bully who got arrested for vehicular manslaughter
- Paul Rudd
- Tim Hortons Wi-Fi
Where is your go-to public breakdown spot on campus?
- Middle of the AQ hallway, in front of a Krispy Kreme fundraiser stand. I love giving back
- Nowhere. Like any high-functioning adult, I hold my screeching in until I reach the sixth floor library washroom stall
- Everywhere, I’m broken literally everywhere on campus, forever
Do you still live at home?
- I live on in the hearts of men
- I live for the applause, applause, applause
- I live to serve, in theory
If you chose mostly A’s . . . you’ve glowed up less than SFUNET!
You glow less than the shiny forehead of a pubescent teen. I can’t believe that a nearly defunct wireless system has improved more than you. Maybe those New Year’s resolutions aren’t so attainable after all . . .
If you chose mostly B’s . . . you’ve glowed up more than SFUNET!
Congrats, you’ve glowed up more than a Wi-Fi network. But let’s be honest, you haven’t actually improved that much. You’re only marginally better than the miniscule glow-up of SFUNET, and that’s not saying much, considering.
If you chose mostly C’s . . . you’ve glowed up just as much as SFUNET!
Woohoo, it’s a match! Twinning with SFUNET isn’t something to be proud of, though. This glow-up is just as meaningless as SFUNET’s fake fresh face. You should have worked harder on your self-improvement instead of watching “Vines that cure my depression” compilation videos.
SUBJECT: I am single-user access and your syllabus can try again later
Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer
From: Cora P. Wright <[email protected]>
To: Bob Auldmann <[email protected]>, Ted Bouks <[email protected]>, Moe Rinsane <[email protected]>
Subject: I am single-user access and your syllabus can try again later
Dear professors,
I regret to inform you that I cannot complete the readings for this week’s class. Or, any other week’s for that matter. I have declared myself to be SINGLE-USER ACCESS only. What I mean is that I am not able to process the BS of your class’ readings right now. After all, SFU has access to only 1 copy of this student.
Right now, I’ve been assigned the reading “Theories of a White Guy: A Modern Look at Capitalism.” As such, unfortunately, all copies of me are currently in use. I can’t be accessed, not by the rest of you and not by your assigned textbooks “From Lampposts to Lederhosen: The History of Political Scandals,” “How to Murder: Essential Reading for the Criminology-minded,” or “Green Eggs and Ham.”
Please note that this is (probably) temporary and that I may get to your ridiculously large number of readings in about seven to 60 days. Feel free to check back later, or search for another student.
You may send me granola bars to try to refresh me, if you really want access to me sooner. But don’t count on it actually working when you want it to. If you give up on trying, you can always purchase my attention for a mere $99.99 USD + tax. My Venmo is conveniently available in the attached SFU Vault File. Thank you.
Yours sincerely (once you pay me),
Cora P. Wright
DEAR PEAKIE: Lunch, love, and legal tea
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
Dear Peakie,
I keep trying to stop eating out, but Dining Hall food is SO GOOD and I’m not on the meal plan. How do I stop spending all this money?
From, Make It Buffet’n
•••
Dear Make It Buffet’n,
Keep going, because this is a problem that solves itself. After enough all-you-can-eat seshes, you’ll be out of money to spend! Plus, this will probably force you to drop out of SFU, so you won’t be able to hit up Dining Hall anymore.
(Well, technically you could, but realistically you’re not going to climb the mountain just for that. I mean, didn’t you know? Without the gondola, every second of transiting to SFU is actually just suffering and trudging through several feet of snow. Yes, of course that happens year-round.)
Love, Peakie
•••
•••
Dear Peakie,
Why is my prof’s marking scheme so harsh? I just want someone to be nice to me.
From, Tender Bibliography
•••
Dear Tender Bibliography,
Be nice to yourself! You can’t expect love from others when you’re not giving it to yourself. For example, put your full effort into your assignment for once, instead of blithely drooling your emotions all over a .doc file. I think your professor’s sensitive soul will awaken the second they lay eyes on an essay that doesn’t read like a rejected Teletubbies script. We all love to see a self-educating king!
Love, Peakie
•••
•••
Dear Peakie,
Who hurt you?
From, Peakie
•
Dear Peakie,
The Alberta Court of Appeal when it determined the federal carbon tax to be “unconstitutional,” and the Alberta government for once again making the global climate crisis all about them.
Love, Peakie
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: March 2–8
Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
Aries — March 21–April 19
Wherever you walk this week, the ugly truth about those in the immediate vicinity will follow. Solve this by spending your mornings bathing in a big vat of melted candy and glaze. There’s nothing quite like sugarcoating yourself for the easy consumption of others.
Taurus — April 20–May 20
Forget your education. Take this week to track down a WonderSwan Color and the Japan-exclusive releases of the Digimon WonderSwan series of video games surrounding Ryou Akiyama’s endless struggle against Millenniummon. Ryou’s lengthy plothole-ridden war against an all-powerful, evil god of spacetime will resonate with you and your fight for self-actualization.
Gemini — May 21–June 20
You’ll experience love at first sight this week. You will finally open your eyes after a lifetime of being blind to your own flaws — and at that time, you’ll realize that you and your venomous personality are meant to be together. Forever.
Cancer — June 21–July 22
Bring back bubblegum as a sassy commonplace quirk. It’s retro, it’s cute, and it’s something you’ll be suited for after years of blowing every other aspect of your life.
Leo — July 23–August 22
Wear big, sparkling earrings this week. You never listen, so you might as well use your ears for something.
Virgo — August 23–September 22
Watch your back this week. Left to their own devices, your lazy little lats will only bring you disappointment and fragility.
Libra — September 23–October 22
Horoscope? What horoscope? Nobody decides your future but you. And advertising giants.
Scorpio — October 23–November 21
Oh no! Someone close to you might have actually modelled your psychological profile accurately. You’ll need to chuck a behavioural curveball every two hours instead of every three days, now. No way does some random get to understand you just because they’ve known you for years.
Sagittarius — November 22–December 21
Don’t reflect on your own actions. Why would you bother when there’s so much wrong with everyone else’s? If there’s one thing you needed to learn from Grey’s Anatomy trauma surgeon Owen Hunt, besides to NEVER date a man like Owen Hunt, it’s how to triage.
Capricorn — December 22–January 19
This is the week to let go of material worries. Didn’t you know? All of this is just a fever dream brought on as your soul recovers from the Mayan apocalypse eight years ago, anyways. That girl who dropped out of high school to go “live her life” before it all came crashing down? She clearly knew what was what.
Aquarius — January 20–February 18
You’re a deceitful image, a sleight of hand. Your horoscope sign says “aqua,” but your horoscope element is air. This week, you have to weaponize this. There’s no other way you’ll escape that social engagement you promised you’d attend, only to realize that you’d rather snort beaver teeth.
Pisces — February 19–March 20
Stop trying to order the Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino from Starbucks locations that no longer serve it. Yes, self-care is (obviously!) demanding unreasonable accommodations from everyone in your life (and sometimes from people who aren’t in your life, like, at all.) But real self-care is learning to recognize when the sizzle in the relationship is just . . . gone.
Board Shorts: February 26
Written by: Michelle Gomez, Assistant News Editor
MNP presentation on audit options
The Board passed a motion to have a presentation from an independent auditing firm to inform the Board and the Council regarding potential audit options.
The Board allocated up to $5,200 plus ancillary expenses for this presentation.
Executive Director Sylvia Ceacero noted “I think it is important that we have the correct information before moving forward [ . . . ] I just want to make sure that it is understood that the $5,200 plus ancillary expenses is simply for [auditors] Peter and Mark to come and present — it has nothing to do with actually doing an audit.”
The motion was passed unanimously.
FASS on a Boat receives funding
The Board passed a motion to provide funding for the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS) annual event FASS on a Boat.
Executive Finance Coordinators of the event’s organizing committee, Tony Yu and Zak Thompson ,delivered a presentation to the Board.
Yu explained that as one of the biggest events provided by the faculty, its main purpose is “To provide an opportunity to de-stress before exam season.” They announced that this year’s theme would be masquerade. Dinner will be provided to participants, in addition to a range of activities, including a dance floor, crafts, and a photo booth.
The initial motion asked the SFSS to provide $5,820 in funding for the event.
“As the organizer, are you prepared for any questions about how much was spent per attendee for the event?” asked SFSS Finance Manager Rowena de la Torre after the presentation.
VP Finance Tawanda Nigel Chitapi noted that “Personally I am not satisfied with how the budget was presented, there’s still a lot of gaps and unanswered questions.”
De la Torre asked, “why is it [FASS on a Boat] happening if the event lost money last year? Was there a discussion as to whether the discussion should happen at all?”
Health Sciences Representative Osob Mohamed replied that “We’re not in the money-making business here, we’re a non for profit organization [ . . . ] we are literally here to hold events and provide services for students.”
The motion was amended to approve up to $5,000 for the event. The motion was carried.
Rotunda groups to be allocated space in the SUB
The Board passed a motion to present two options to the Rotunda groups to enter into an agreement to house them in the Student Union Building.
SEE MORE: Rotunda groups will be offered space in the new Student Union Building
Monday Music: spacey songs for insomniacs
by Molly Lorette, SFU Student
For whatever reason, I always feel as though reality works a little bit differently after staying up till the early hours of the morning. While there seems to be a little bit of discrepancy between the exact allotted hours, this period of time is classically referred to as the witching hour (the time of night associated with supernatural activity). So perhaps it makes sense that our brains tend to operate a little differently. In any case, if you want a nice ambiance while lying in bed and dissociating a little bit, here are a few tunes to set the mood.
As the title would suggest, this beautiful tune makes you feel as though you’re weightlessly floating throughout the sky amongst the constellations, or like you’re in the midst of a peaceful lucid dream. The emotional response that this song seems to exude is difficult to describe, but to me it seems to be something along the lines of melancholic nostalgia with a dash of yearning. Whatever it is, this tune is well suited to accompany you when you begin pondering all of those “what ifs” and those somewhat troubling “could have been” thoughts.
I’m going to admit a personal bias here: this jam has a special place in my heart. The indie-pop band Peach Pit hails from Vancouver and has established themselves as a staple within my Spotify playlists for a few years now. Nevertheless, the peacefully melodic guitar seems to have a way of soothing one to sleep, while vocalist and rhythm-guitarist Neil Smith pines over an unrequited love and #BlazesIt. Really repping that classic Vancouver spirit, guys!
A spacey playlist is never complete without a healthy dose of synth. I don’t make the rules, I only follow them. As I’m sure we know, depression is a difficult and fickle thing to deal with, which Cuco addresses with his rambly and repetitive lyrics backed with melancholic tunes. Since these early hours tend to be a very cerebral time in which we overthink everything, this song is a perfect fit for a late night never-ending mental stream.
