Board games for bored university students

By: Victoria Lopatka Are you the type of student that naturally procrastinates by any means available when you have an assignment due the next day?...

Unaired Shark Tank pitches

By: Simrin Purhar We’ve all seen Shark Tank, a show which features entrepreneurs pitching their business ideas and products. Some of  the entrepreneurs are lucky...

Rejected Tinder bio lines

By: Winona Young Valentine's Day is right around the corner! For any of you unlucky souls still in Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hoes Club Band, have...

Straight Man Symposium

By: JoJo, Lesbian Studies PhD Is this mic on? Yes? Alright fantastic! Hello! And welcome, welcome — everyone, please come on in. Find yourself a seat....

A short biology lesson for dumb idiots who ask “is your pussy tight?”

With Google searches such as “my girlfriend feels loose is she cheating” and “how to make your vag tighter with vinegar,” I feel that...

Acting courses for porn stars

By: Winona Young Here at the Vocational Adult Acting Graduates Institute of North America, or VAAGINA, we embrace artists and actors alike to challenge the...

Political fanbase nicknames

So you like politicians, huh??? So much so that you’re a self-proclaimed fan that stands beside them under all circumstances? That’s all fine and...

Collaboration in a real-life workplace

By: Simrin Purhar Manager: Corporate called and wants us to make “collaboration” our new mantra. Repeat after me, “Collaboration equals productivity!” Snarky Millennial: Are you talking...

Sightseeing on the 144 SFU/Metrotown

The Simon Fraser University sign that is lit up 24/7 Knowledge. Discovery. New acquaintances. Crippling Debt. A large grey structure atop a foggy...

Your years in university as Beyoncé albums

As every good Beyoncé fan knows, you don’t just end up at Lemonade. Sometimes you gotta go through super awkward red carpets and poor...