Dear TA,
I am writing to you in response to my recent feedback, though I am also speaking in defense of myself, and other like-minded students, to advocate for elongated sentences which exceed traditional boundaries of a single idea, because that’s how revolutionary some of my thoughts truly are. My long sentences are not a lack of respect for convention, but rather proof of an artistic and stylistic identity I seek to develop through my early academic career, as I hope to pilot a new style of fluid, poetically-oriented prose.
Further, in effort to respond to the assigned essay prompt as accurately, closely, and personally as possible, my ideas cohere so tightly it would be impossible, no, inhumane, to split them into smaller units, units that disrupt the flow of my words. I express gratitude and admiration for the contents of these assignments with a series of well-ordered ideas, represented as unbridled interest. Now, this style is not the resulting lack of inhibition necessary for enthusiastic writing; it is, instead, such a profound respect for the content I become inspired to intertwine multiple ideas into single sentences. By flourishing my sentences with an abundance of commas, I mimic the tone of a speech regaled to an adoring audience. Very unfortunate that as a TA, you are not a supportive member in the audience of those lucky enough to read my fluid, evocative, and articulate, prose.
If you require my sentences to be parceled out into more palatable units, I wish to ask a question, not to condescend, but to understand the value of your supposed, extremely real, academic credentials. If you require a sentence to contain one measly independent clause, then what is the point of doing, like, a billion years of school if you need information made “accessible?” Do you thumb through classic philosophy with a quizzical look painted upon your face, brow furrowed in contempt, red pen gleaming with ink to be peppered on the page in the shape of carrots and periods, to the ultimate conclusion of, “Wow, I wish this was easier to read?” You don’t, because then it wouldn’t be rewarding. My writing is ultimately, ineffaceably, and undeniably rewarding. I may be a mere undergraduate student, but I have lofty aspirations to be one of the literary greats, so I may as well start writing at the speed my brain generates ideas at, NOW.
I simply see no virtue in short sentences. Unfortunately, my recent “see me! C-” suggests this is a site of contention between you and I, and I possess no more rhetorical will to advocate for five-comma sentences.
I will take this to the dean, her wise ways, and end this unfair, unjust treatment.
Sincerely,
A student with much to say
