Your weekly SFU horoscopes: November 12–18

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Stop it with the selfishness this week. Make some sacrifices. Like becoming a ritual sacrifice...

SFU FANFICTION: The Demon and the Concrete Man — Chapter 3 [COMPLETE]

Written by Kelly Chia, Staff Writer Disclaimer: *turns around in office chair, stroking a soft white cat* It is November, bitches. Once again, it is...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: November 5–11

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 You could participate in NaNoWriMo this year. But why write a rushed novel when your...

Overly friendly professor destroys students’ lives for forgetting to call him by first name

Written by Nathaniel Tok, Peak Associate Assistant professor Michael McManfred, a recent hire for the Department of Legal, Ethical, and General Investigative Technology (LEGIT), has...

Man pauses to breathe, gives audience fleeting false hope that he’s done talking

Written by Kelly Chia, Staff Writer It’s Thursday afternoon, and we have a breaking headline coming in from the conference room in the West Mall...

Trapped on campus: Your guide to surviving Halloween night at SFU

Written by Zoe Vedova, Peak Associate It’s Thursday evening — October 31. While all your friends are smearing on eyeshadow from garish palettes they’ve saved...

Deadweight

Written by Rodolfo Boskovich, SFU Student “OK, I guess we may as well start,” I say to a roomful of students. “So! I’m gonna talk...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 29–November 4

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your stars spell terrible destinies for you this week. And you’re just going to have...

An open letter from an absentee

Written by Aaron Barry, SFU Student Dear Classmates, You’ve seen me. I’m in your ENGL 206 class, your HIST 102W, your CMPT 307. I’m the one...