CONFESSIONALS: The housing crisis in Vancouver is ruining my sex life

Written by Juztin Bello, Copy Editor It’s a little after midnight. I’ve lost count of how many drinks I’ve had at this club, and I...

Six rush-order costumes for Halloween at SFU

Written by Madeleine Chan, SFU Student No Halloween costume yet? Fear not. If you’ve fallen victim to the perils of procrastination, here are six simple...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 21–October 28

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Enough with all the blushing over cuties on the SkyTrain. Blood is for dramatically staining...

Common man-cold season starts, plagues student body with incessant whining

Written by Marco Ovies, Staff Writer It’s that time of year again: the common man-cold has taken over SFU. According to a MySpace survey, frigivenena masculinum...

New U.N. study reveals that only sustainable source of protein is eating the rich

Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief In view of soy fields eroding soil worldwide, eggs violating poultry rights, and tofu being too moist for comfort,...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: October 14–20

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Victory will be yours this week. No matter the cost. You might end up in...

A cheeky deBRIEF on wasting your best undies on a boring day

Written by Paige Riding Victoria’s Secret is out: today, my high hopes were crushed by an overwhelming sense of mediocrity. The day was so bland...

How to break up with a classmate

Written by Aaron Barry, SFU Student So you’ve decided you’re done. His constant gaming and chronic lack of hygiene are just too much for you....

Dear grad admissions board: my failed courses are non-canon to my personal narrative

To Whom It May Concern, It is my great honour to recommend myself, Jake Jacksonian, for SFU’s Graduate Program in the Department of English. Yes,...