Horoscopes July 30 – August 4

By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate Aries March 21–April 19  I can smell the confidence oozing out of you as you read this. Aries my friend, you better...

Peakie gets sporty

By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor Dear Peakie,  As you know, July is Disability Pride Month. So, obviously, we want to do...

The Hangry Games: The ballad of snacks and a momma raccoon

By: Amrit Kamaal, Peak Associate Burnaby Mountain, known for its thriving ecosystems and wildlife, was hit by an influx of humans in 1965. Once known...

Imperfect fits: Pride edition

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Vancouver is hosting Pride this week, and even though “we are all born naked,” that is not the appropriate outfit...

Shit people say to my disabled ass

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer As someone who was born disabled, nothing makes me cackle more than the ridiculous remarks of arrogance that grace my...

ATTENTION: Public health officials report alarming levels of white victimhood in local wastewater

By: C Icart, Humour Editor There’s a segment of the population that is experiencing great hardship and oppression, and it’s our duty as members of...

Horoscopes July 22–28

By: Amrit Kamaal, Peak Associate Aries March 21–April 19 This summer, please take a course on internet safety and the effects of AI. I know you want...

Why do we live in a world where the only reward for hydrating is a large amount of piss?

By: C Icart, Humour Editor Calling all members of the overhydration nation!  Why did you recruit me? I can’t live like this anymore; I have things...

Not a message from the president: Everything I missed in the 2023–24 community report

By: Kaja Antic, Staff Writer As we come to the end of this mundane, troublesome, and cost-ineffective academic year, it’s time to jog down memory...

Saturday Fight Night: The vengeful Ah Choo vs. the undefeated Seasonal Allergies

By: Izzy Cheung, Arts & Culture Editor Snee: Welcome back to another installment of Saturday Fight Night! My name is Snee, and tonight, I’ll be...