Dear SFU students, while you’re busy doomscrolling post-US election, please don’t forget to read this student bulletin.
Important Announcements
Are you ready to get lucky this win-ter by entering the snoring contest? Since it’s cozy season now, we’re giving you a chance to win soundproofing materials for your bedroom so that you’ll never disturb other people again! All you have to do is record yourself snoring the best snores, send it to [email protected], and you’re all set! Winners will be announced on December 10 and chosen based on snoring volume, strength, technique, and confidence.
Is your mind still jet-lagged from the one-hour shift into daylight savings mode? This is your reminder to fix your sleep schedule. It’s been over a week; get over it! Don’t let that extra hour on November 3 stop you from following your dreams in real life!
Random holidays worth considering:
Nov 12: National Chicken Soup for the Soul Day. Take a break from taking out leftover turkey from the freezer, and have some chicken for a change. Don’t forget to play some Ray Charles while the soup is simmering to really infuse the soul into it.
Nov 16: International Check Your Wipers Day. You need to check up on your wipers once in a while because while you drive in the rain they never get any brakes! Don’t tire out your car, it’s already got exhaust-ion 25/8.
Nov 17: National Home-Made Bread Day. Celebrate this Loave-ember by adopting some of your sister’s sourdough starter. Good luck raising your yeast Tamagotchi!
Activities
Time for a Quick Cute Quiz!
Your new pet cat is shy but you want them to get more comfortable around you. What strategy will you use to get your cat to open up to you more?
- If your response had something to do with food or treats, that’s a decent start. Your score is 120.
- If your response was related to toys and playing with the cat, then your score is 105. What’s a better icebreaker than doing something to satisfy their taste buds?
- If your plan is specifically to invite your cat to sit beside you on the living room couch after preparing a delicious fish dinner for your cat to munch on while you both binge comedy shows on the large flat screen TV, then you have the highest IQ possible: 160 and beyond! That is the best idea!
- If your response does not fall under A, B, nor C, I trust that you still gave an intelligent answer so your score is 145.
Advice Corner (but not to make you feel cornered): Are you stressed to be the best dressed this sweater weather season? Don’t sweat it. SFU Dress2Impress club is hosting a fashion drop-in session on November 30 to help you choose the best outfits to match the coolest modern trends (including dressing like a professor). Register today to guarantee your spot! (Please register, Stacy and Clinton are trying to revive their careers post-What Not To Wear).
