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goSFU? More like noSFU

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PHOTO: Oladimeji Ajegbile / Pexels

By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor

OK, it’s course selection season! Time to log into the easy-peasy, foolproof system called goSFU. It allows us to enroll in classes, request our wonderful advising transcripts, and pay our ever-increasing tuition. But what happens when the world goes dark? 

The only difference between the goSFU outage and the Y2K bug is that barely anyone was affected by the Y2K bug. The fall 2024 goSFU outage will be many students’ villain origin story. Here’s how the victims lived out the five stages of grief.

Denial 
Students constantly tried to sign into their accounts, justifying the waste of time by saying, “SFU would have fixed it” or “it should be up and working by now.” But no matter what they said to themselves, it was merely denial they hadn’t faced. 

Anger 
Students were in fits of fury, watching emails fly in saying that “goSFU will be fixed soon” — but there was no change. Instead of responding to the automated emails with choice words, students turned to the media to express their frustration. Like come on!! We get it . . . it’s broken. But, like, just fix it already! This has been going on far too long.

Bargaining  
Anger and denial aren’t the only ways some students were coping. Some were straight up bargaining . . . with tech support . . . It felt as though it would never be fixed. When this happens again (because we know it will), maybe reach out to SIAT students instead. May as well give them real-time issues to solve?

Depression 
This speaks for itself — the sorrow! The misery! “How will we pick our classes with both goSFU and mySchedule being out,” they wept. And they were right, how else were they supposed to plan? By pen and paper? Such an old way of doing things. Why even bother if not for the ways we have now?

Acceptance 
Very few, if anyone, made it here.

But Cruella’s full quote goes as follows: “They say there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Well, I’d like to add one more. Revenge.”

The outage may be in the past but the students have not forgotten. Watch out goSFU gods, watch out.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society