By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer
Another back-to-school article you didn’t ask for, you say? I know; no one wants a reminder of school starting up again after it literally just ended two seconds ago. Grades from the previous semester have barely been released, and we’ve hardly had time to process our academic outcomes from the summer. We’re already overthinking our course schedules for the fall semester, and now we’re expected to dive head-first into the chaos that is the first week back? Ridiculous. Welcome to your worst nightmare: the return to university!
Fall is the most stereotypical kickstart to a new school year. The glory of being inundated by countless back-to-school commercials and ads for the grade–school kiddos says it all; everything from outrageous department store sales (do kids really grow that much over the summer?) to “screaming hot” deals on the latest and greatest tech. How dare we pass up a buy one, get one sale on backpacks and binders! Let’s be real: back-to-school sales are just as useful for scholars as they are for kindergarteners. Nothing says “broke university student” like taking out a loan for one textbook that costs as much as our entire school supplies back in elementary.
Alas, nothing’s more entertaining than witnessing crammed hallways of newcomers with confused looks on their faces, obviously lost but desperately trying to hide it. They turn on their heels and screech to a halt while pulling a freshman-180 every time they realize they’re headed in the wrong direction — which, as we all know, is more often than not. Their panicked faces search for someone who’s been riding this university bandwagon a little too long. A seemingly sophisticated scholar of sorts. Oh, wait, those don’t exist. This isn’t Ivy League. We don’t go to the top-rated university in the country. We’re just trying to make it through our degrees — and, frankly, the dreaded syllabus week.
Newcomers approach us so-called well-seasoned students with wavering voices, asking if we know where a certain room is, anxiously hoping they’ll make it to class on time. Trust me, we have no clue. Those of us who spend more time on campus than at home are just as lost as you. We have no idea if you’re even in the right building or if you’ll have to walk to the other end of campus. Just kidding, the building code will give it away, but do we pay attention to that? No way. Once you figure it out yourself, though, please do let us know. On that note, do we actually care about being on time for class? Nope. Do the profs care? Not in the slightest. We could show up halfway through, looking like a raccoon, making a ruckus as we enter the lecture hall, and no one would bat an eye.
You can spot the new students miles away, always trying so hard in their first few weeks. They show up right on time with seemingly flawless appearances as if they actually brushed their hair and put some effort into their outfits, dressed to the nines, repping the university apparel from head to toe. They organize their school supplies clad with colourful pens, highlighters, and a fresh notebook that has yet to be opened and scribbled on with random doodles and illegible writing. Meanwhile, the rest of us look like trash. Our hair is a constant mess, we’re still sleep-deprived from finals week, and we’ve been using the same notebook throughout our entire degree.
So, happy first week back! Squeezing your way through the crowds will give you enough anxiety to consider dropping out, but I promise it’s really not that bad.
