By: Craig Allan, Peak Associate
Professor Backenangel in the anthropology department upset his students by setting a due date for 10:00 a.m. instead of 11:59 p.m. on October 26. Students panicked at this announcement, fearing the time would affect their procrastination. Many of the students feel it is customary for assignments to be due at the end of the day and no earlier.
Matt Leal, a second-year anthropology student, was shocked by the announcement. He said, “I always get my assignments done at the last minute, but with this 10:00 a.m. time, what am I supposed to do? Get up before noon to finish this? That sucks! I procrastinate everything! I procrastinate leaving the house, I procrastinate doing my readings, I procrastinate . . . Well, I can’t think of a third thing but I’ll send you my answer later.”
We also spoke with Angelica Gutierrez, a third-year anthropology student who was also displeased with the assignment time. She said, “Last year I had my first child. The doctor told me the baby was going to be due on December 30, 2020. Not wanting to have a baby born in that horrible year I squeezed so hard to keep my baby’s head in until January 1. You know why? Because due date times matter. They matter!”
We were able to track down Backenangel in his office after pushing our way through the broken eggs and toilet paper thrown by angry students. He said his reasoning for the assignment due date was students in his class tend to procrastinate a little too much. He set the time earlier so they might be able to get the assignment done faster and keep up with the reading material. Backenangel said he “has no regrets about [his] decision and plans to keep that time in place going forward.”
No one knows what will happen with this rogue professor, but students are already taking action. They plan to protest in Convocation Mall. The school has already condemned the students out of fear they may possibly ruin the grey, always under construction look of the area. The anthropology department may make a new discovery in the study of humanity: a due date means the end of the day.