Online classes are the superior choice for hot student summer

By: Nancy La, Staff Writer

Staring out my window wistfully as the beautiful sunshine streams through the window, I snap out of my daydream as the alluring blue hue of my Zoom call beckons me. 

Nothing speaks summer like staring into little rectangles on a screen. In fact, to those who diss summer classes and complain about not being able to go outside for some Vitamin D (or to a social gathering for some Vitamin “D”), I present them with: the perfect connection. Who cares about Chad from Beta Lambda Pi when you could strike up a much more satisfying relationship with four bars of sweet, sweet WiFi?  

Summer classes also provide the perfect excuse for when I don’t want to join my friends’ online game (you know, the one game where you have to carry all your teammates). The excuse of “I have class later” is perfectly legitimate since I do, in fact, have class later. A four-hour lecture until 9:30 p.m., actually. 

“It’s all worth it,” I say to myself. Guess who’s going to graduate early and never deal with SFU again? Me! Because I’m taking these sexy summer courses, I get to graduate in five years instead of the usual eight. 

While other people are out flexing their summer bods, I’m flexing my student bod. That’s right — instead of bench pressing and sweating; my workout routine includes furiously typing my papers and slapping the submit button before 11:59 p.m.. It’s an exercise in both mind and body with minimal sweat, and there’s no better workout out there for the hot summer weather.

There’s no need to worry about finding the perfect summer outfit when the camera only captures up to my shoulders. I get to save money on clothes and not have to worry about an OOTD. Nobody can tell I have an embarrassing number of Pokémon T-shirts over Zoom. Plus, I get to wear them without people thinking I’m avoiding adult responsibilities by indulging in a childhood game. That is totally not what my Pokémon obsession is about.

Without summer classes, I also would not have realized the importance of my relationship with my desk plant, Phil. Who else will be here with me through thick and thin, watching over me like a guardian angel without complaint? You wish you had this kind of healthy relationship with your plant, but you can’t have it because you decided to abandon yours for “real people.” 

As you can see, the benefits of summer classes outweighs those of not taking them. I hypothesize that it takes at least three courses in order for you to see their benefits. The time for hot student summer is here, and it’s here to stay, my friend. Don’t just take my word for it, go and enrol classes to try it out yourself!