Listless: Grateful Children

Mother’s Day is a time of year when we get together to collectively thank our moms for squirting us out like so many waterslides; you’ll now never be able to go on without cringing. It’s this nigh universal appreciation and respect between mother and child that makes it oh-so-satisfying when someone’s momma gets scorched! I’m talking yo momma jokes, son. Specifically, how to insult of the mother of a given major. Day-um.

  • English Lit.

Yo momma’s so fat, she tripped and fell on modernism and it became depressionism.

  • MBB

Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks the Krebs Cycle is something you can ride.

  • Philosophy

Yo momma’s so dumb, she thinks Descartes is pulled by Dey Horses.

  • Archaeology

Yo momma’s so old, her first period was the Devonian.

  • Political Science

Yo momma’s so dumb, she thinks the Bloc Quebecois is a street downtown

  • Physics

Yo momma’s so fat, she sat on a wave function and collapsed it.

  • Womens’ Studies

Your mother is a fine matriarchal candidate, capable of standing up to any misogynistic ridicule and mockery that juvenile minds can throw at her.

By Gary Lim