Staff Writer
Dining with Sophistication: Townies, Tricks, and Trash
June 29, 2022By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer Restaurant: Townhouse Compost Rating: ★★ Location: SFU Residence Appetizer: Spinach and mushroom soup Entrée: Prawns sautéd with cherry tomatoes Dessert: Yogurt cheesecake Wine: Water Simply disappointing. Those were the first words that came to mind as I exited the Townhouse Compost this sad evening. This week I had the “pleasure” of Chef Lotor’s exciting cuisine. He claimed to be a freelance chef hired by SFU . . . Suspicious, but I was optimistic. He’d sent out an invite made specially for me, Reginald the III, of course. He stated this was yet to be another tasty…
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How to make friends at SFU
June 20, 2022By: Rufus the Raccoon, Friendship Expert Making friends is hard. At SFU, it can be hard as concrete. Humans call it a “commuter campus” for a reason! Everyone is in a rush to get somewhere else, and few people leave…
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SFUnexplained: The geese are out to get us!
June 18, 2022By: Olivia Visser, Staff Writer Have you noticed things just haven’t felt “right” lately? You’re not the only one. My pitch got no responses from the News or Opinions editors, but I promise you this isn’t some conspiracy theory! A…
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SFU Surrey petitions to be the new It campus
May 30, 2022By: Yasmin Vejs Simsek, Staff Writer Fellow campuses, I’ve included some flattering prelude from my fellow campus, UBC, who had this wonderful, original stuff to say about me. SFU Surrey is flawless. I hear the campus is insured for $1,000,000,000. I…
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SFU presents new mental health companion: the puppy microwave
May 27, 2022By: Olivia Visser, Staff Writer Dear SFU students, You know what time of year it is. Your two weeks of freedom after the Spring semester have somehow trickled away. Piles of reading and homework seem to have unfortunately made their…
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Horoscopes: May 16-May 22
May 26, 2022By: Isabella Urbani, Staff Writer and PhD in predicting your entire life Aries Sweet Aries, you’re toootally not a summer semester person. I know you want to get a move on your degree and more importantly, stop yourself from streaming…
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Horoscopes: May 22–29
May 22, 2022By: Isabella Urbani, Staff Writer Aries Sweet Aries, you’re toootally not a summer semester person. I know you want to get a move on your degree and more importantly, stop yourself from streaming every Netflix movie possible, but it isn’t…
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Imperfect fits for students who would rather be anywhere but class
May 16, 2022By: Olivia Visser, Staff Writer Summer has arrived, and so has the semester! Isn’t that just lovely? I, too, enjoy spending my summer sitting on the leather seats of the 145 in shorts (and peeling my thighs off my seat when…
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SFUnexplained: Whatever happened to the missing avocado statue?
May 9, 2022By: Isabella Urbani, Staff Writer BREAKING NEWS! The ENTIRETY of the SFU Burnaby Campus was thrown for a LOOP on the early mornings of Monday, May 2, when our beloved avocado statue was nowhere to be seen!!!!! If you don’t believe…
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Losing my emotional support tote bag
May 8, 2022By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer Ah, tote bags. They give the perfect impression of looking put together and artsy. So what happens when a student loses it? It is with tremendous sadness that I announce my resignation from the Tote Bag…
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