DEAR PEAKIE: Talking washrooms, wash-outs, and narcissism

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie,  Do I absorb Jeff Bezos' worth if I eat him or does everything stay the same? From, Didn’t Get...

CONFESSIONALS: I’m an abandoned microwave

Written by Kelly Chia, Features Editor Life at SFU isn’t easy. It’s not the humdrum grey and red that gets you, but the illusion that...

Mount Burnabus: Rise of the SFU Olympians

Written by Juztin Bello, Madeleine Chan, Kelly Chia, Gabrielle McLaren, and Zach Siddiqui If you read the Percy Jackson books, then you know that the...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: Feb 3–Feb 9

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 This week, some might call you an evil-hearted monster for spilling the tea to your...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: Jan 27–Feb 2

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 This week, you’re tempted to drop projects that have no fruitful end in sight —...

SFU invites students to Feral Coyote Therapy

Written by Maxwell Gawlick, Peak Associate After the great success of the school’s recent Dog Therapy sessions, SFU’s Health & Counselling Services is bringing the...

From brutalist to boo-talist: SFU turns Robert C. Brown Hall into a year-round haunted house

Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer In a move to facilitate easy fundraising, SFU has decided to turn Robert C. Brown Hall (RCB) into a...

Leaked transcript: a hostage negotiation with a stupidly rich man

Written by Rodolfo Boskovic, SFU Student DIAL TONE.  A PHONE IS PICKED UP OFF THE RECEIVER. ???: Who is this!? Listen! I’m holding a lit match and...

DEAR PEAKIE: Talking over the cold, homicide, and fake news

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Dear Peakie, How can I stay warm on campus? I literally wear so many layers and the cold mountain still...

SFU welcomes its REAL new president: Canadian-brand Meghan Markle

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor After months of tireless searching, a stroke of good luck has brought SFU our next school president. In a...