CONFESSIONAL: I just can’t stop ending Zoom calls!

By: Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer It started a few months ago, when everything ended. Face-to-face interaction, that is. I thought it was finally over, that...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 8–14

By: Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: What is with your urge to fight everyone around you? Sure, you’re the shark in an ocean of guppies...

Man texts “I miss you” to favourite public washroom, promises to hang out soon

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor PORT MOODY, BC — On Saturday, Walter Tangke, a sociology major at SFU, decided to take a moment to...

QUIZ: Do you have a Snap Streak or do you respect yourself?

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor How old are you? a) Baby b) Bewildered How susceptible are you to peer pressure? a) Shine bright like a...

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm,” man coos at decorative candles

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor “People are always criticizing me for buying things I don’t need,” says Sean. “But it’s not about whether I...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: June 1–7

Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: You’ve always been annoyed by unoriginal people. You’re just so sick of Instagram users screenshotting tweets and reposting...

“I miss my sisters,” says treasurer who can’t defraud her sorority anymore

By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor BURNABY, BC — Gracie O’Brien, a fourth year economics student at SFU, reported in several of her group chats this...

Fake friendships to reopen on “optional, part-time basis”

By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Forget the economy: it’s time to bring back an even more arbitrary part of our lives, authorities say. The British...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: May 25–31

By: Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: You’re en route to make a better comeback than all the ice cream trucks randomly reappearing. Like a phoenix, you...

CONFESSIONALS: Yoga taught me to let go and steal my neighbour’s mail!

By: Michelle Young, Staff Writer  Cat pose, Sphinx pose, Ragdoll . . . I inhale and exhale, and I feel all my negative energy leave me....