“peasants i am leaving you for something better”: A Simon Fraser story

By: Hannah Davis, Peak Associate I gaze at my reflection in a silver spoon in Mackenzie Café, untangle a perfect curl from my mile-long natural...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: May 18-24

Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: Is that special someone (who isn’t actually that special, but you’re acting like they are) not responding again?...

Six Quick & Easy Breads To Cuddle For Your Touch Starvation

Written by Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer Let’s be real here: you’re lonely. You’re isolated, and you’re starved . . . touch-starved, to be exact. You’ve...

How to Clean, Season, and Cook With Your Cast-Iron Excuses

Written by Rodolfo Boskovic, Peak Associate Taking care of yourself can be a struggle once you’ve moved out, and there’s a lot to learn about...

Grade 12 students petition for grad ceremony with classmates they hate

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor PORT COQUITLAM, BC — Just like all the other Grade 12 students in British Columbia, Courtney Pierce has been...

Top 5 Ongoing Neighbourhood Dramas To Binge-Watch Through Your Bedroom Window This Month

Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer Are you stuck at home? Have you sucked your favourite streaming service as dry as you’ve been sucked of...

CONFESSIONALS: I matched with the SFU Avocado

Written by AvocadoLover69, SFU Student Disclaimer: The events and people in this story are (well, mostly) real. Names and places have been changed in order...

Hey, Rapunzel here — I think my quarantine haircut just killed a man

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor To misquote Veronica Sawyer of Heathers fame, my quarantine hair-angst bullshit has a body count. I mean, I wouldn’t say...

How To Make Sure Your Virtual Classmates Still Know How Pretty You Are

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Amidst the virtual academia of COVID-19, beauty is a beast of burden. Nothing’s worse than knowing your classmates will...

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: May 11–17

Written by Paige Riding, News Writer Aries: How’s that “grass is greener on the other side” mindset going for you now? Take the time to forgive...