My 2023 Wrapped was so wrong

No, I’m still not over it

Person with headphones looking at the different categories in the Spotify app on their phone.
PHOTO: Ivan Samkov / Pexels

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer

The end-of-year has come and gone, and we’re left longing for recaps and wrap-ups that were conveniently forgotten until we were graciously reminded of all that was put into the void of online data without a second thought. All those most-listened-to songs, shows watched, miles covered, and random orders made of things you forgot you purchased have nothing on the recap lack of accuracy. Are you even a tad bit surprised, or is this the 10th year in a row you’ve rolled your eyes? 

Do you really keep a running spreadsheet of how many times you listened to “Flowers” on repeat? Well, Spotify does! And so does YouTube, Apple Music, Amazon Music, and every other music streaming platform known to music fanatics worldwide. Let’s be real, us music lovers yearn for those recaps of forgotten playlists, top songs, and some random record having joined the mix that you never even listened to once. Shout out to the analytics department for messing with your taste in music. 

Although, I will admit they always get the top artists right — but that’s the easiest part! Spoiler alert, I could’ve already told you who my top artist would be on the first day of the year, never mind waiting for some random personalized year-end result to get to the point. Thank you, Spotify, for telling me my favourite artist has remained the same since the dawn of time. Really groundbreaking piece of information you’re giving me there. Still, I am victim to the outcome. I wait impatiently to see the stats that I already know exist, having stayed the same within the past 365 days when I last pretended to long for the previous year’s wrap-up. Anticipating the outcome is like an itch I can’t scratch — a moment to savour the satisfaction that solidifies what I already know, with the occasional added surprise of some song I’ve never heard before.

This isn’t my first song-streaming, playlist-partying, music-manifesting rodeo. I, for one, am a well-seasoned listener with a particular knack for vintage vinyl and CDs that were the Roman Empire of music before the music-streaming world came along and put a damper on the vibe. Go ahead, slap a nice, shiny bow on top of my wrap-up, but I already know the drill. Nothing irks me more than seeing a song I absolutely hate mistakenly placed on my recap list. Where’d you even get this defective data from, Spotify?

Look, we get it. Our phones are listening to us, TVs are watching us, and app wraps are spewing fake news. You signed-off on those app agreements without reading the conditions of coded encryptions embedded into every song, show, and purchase history as the recap gods have a heyday throwing in some stats that aren’t even remotely accurate. Their systems are curating your next party playlist and sad shower songs as we speak. Little do you know, you’re probably being charged for something you didn’t even sign up for but only realized once an unexpected recap popped up with an unnerving notification of a show you didn’t watch that charged an imaginary movie credit to your account. So, for the love of not giving a crap about some random recap, wrap it up already — like, really, go all out with a bow and an app deletion. My year-end playlist has nothing on my ever-changing daylists. Now that’s something that’ll never give a flying wrap!

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