By: Izzy Cheung, Staff Writer

Tall athlete at the gym 

You saw me using the bench press and offered to spot me, even though I was with three of my friends. You had a red SFU athletics water bottle, matching backpack, and tracksuit. You said you play football, but every time I check the roster, nothing shows up — and I don’t know why :(. Regardless, I would like to add you to my roster and you could feed me pasta and lobster. Someone help me find this man, please!!!!!!! 
– your gym girlie 

Gorgeous girl at dining commons 

It was 5:36 p.m. I was in line to grab ice cream from the soft serve machine when I saw you and your friends eating dinner. I was absolutely smitten — I couldn’t focus on finishing my meal after seeing you. You were eating spaghetti in a way that made my heart sing. It was love at first sight. When you finished your meal, you and your friends headed back over to UniverCity, where I saw you get into a dark-green 2008 Honda Civic. I dreamed about the fuel efficient adventures we’d have, with my matching dark red Toyota Camry. We’d be like Mario and Luigi. Please call me at [redacted number]!!!
 – person running after your car a couple of nights ago    

Beedie kid on the same flight from NYC 

You were wearing an SFU Beedie hoodie, which immediately caught my eye since I’m in Beedie too. We ended up sitting together on the flight back from New York, and you told me about that internship you were setting yourself up for in finance. We talked all about the stock market on the way back, and you mentioned that your parents have a share in Disney — and I told you that mine do, too! If you’re reading this, I’m still so down to have another coffee chat with you ;). 
– Beedie marketing girl

Attractive bus-runner 

I was taking the 143 up to the Burnaby campus when I saw you trying to push through the crowd of people. You kept screaming that you had class in five minutes, but no one heard you. I admired your determination so much and felt your pain when the doors shut right in your face. If you’re down to get to Burquitlam station a little earlier next week, maybe we can sit on the bus together. 
– girl with the claw clip

Becky from PHIL 240 in 1980 

Becky, if you’re reading this, we were in PHIL 240 together in 1980. I know you had a boyfriend back then, but I’ve loved you ever since. Please break up with him.
– your old study buddy <3

Handsome Scottish stranger with a dapper moustache 

I swear, I’ve never seen someone as attractive as you. I didn’t catch your face, but I noticed that dapper brown moustache of yours. You were wearing a patterned kilt, a matching hat, and a black vest. You were running across Burnaby Mountain, almost as if someone was trying to catch you, so I didn’t ask for your name . . . Then, you disappeared deep into the campus fogg. I hope I get to meet you again someday. 
– a secret admirer

Graduate student with fashion sense  

I was walking past the AQ, fed up with all the commencement buzz, when . . . I saw you. You were wearing a cap and gown (obviously, a graduate), but what stood out most to me was your stunning pink shoes and matching pink pants. Barbie alert!!! Anyways, you blew me away with your pink-on-pink (icon), so if anyone has any idea who this stranger may be, PLEASE inform me ASAP <3.  
– your Ken