Which trash panda are you?

By: Sharon Ha, SFU Student

Trash pandas, otherwise known as raccoons of the family procyonidae, are not only cute, they are terrifying. Why? Because they are mouthy, smart, and awesome! Why not find out which one you are while you observe these cuties from a safe distance?  

1. What is your favorite place to eat at SFU?
   1. Bubble Waffle. Cheap, convenient, chicken nuggets for daaaaays.
   2. The latest and greatest Tim Hortons, boldly built next to the old one in WMC.
   3. Biercraft, because I am classy.
   4. Yogost. I dream of the mochi!
   5. Anywhere my friends like going with me!
2. Do you take offense at the term ‘trash panda?’
   1. Yes!
   2. No!
   3. Maybe . . .
   4. So?
   5. Eenie Meanie Miney Mo!
3. What type of feminist are you?
   1. An angry one.
   2. Even when we sort out trash, we must be equal!
   3. A girl boss~
   4. We should all be feminists!
   5. I agree with the smart raccoons above!
4. How do you like the quiz so far?
   1. It is very fun!
   2. It is cute and cunning, a lot like me.
   3. Booooo — I have had more fun being stood up on dates.
   4. I have no opinion on this matter.
   5. A few of the statements above were quite rude. I believe this quiz is perfectly adequate for our needs!
5. What form of entertainment tickles your fancy?
   1. Korean dramas.
   2. Telenovelas.
   3. Love Island.
   4. Ew, reality TV shows are gro— actually, Keeping Up With the Kardasha-coons . . . admittedly.
   5. I agree, I detest reality TV. Give me true reality: National Geographic! 

Those who have chosen mostly A’s, you are Grandma Possum Snout:

Grandma Possum Snout has been around since the ‘80s. She likes to eat whatever her children are eating due to a lifetime of focusing on others’ needs. Perhaps, she should try prioritizing hers once in a while. She loves wearing her comforting blue coat! It has a quilted pattern and she hopes to pass it off to her nephew.

For those who have chosen mostly B’s, you are Star, the athlete:

Even Star, a buff and furry raccoon, understands the word “athlete” means little to ordinary students at SFU. She can respect different opinions, and still enjoy bouncing rolling Tim Bits like a basketball. And yet she is that rare phenomenon: a kind, sporty raccoon. 

The always classy person who chose C’s is, of course, Reginald III:

Renowned food critic extraordinaire — only eats homemade kimchi and is a humble lover of bulgogi. Reginald is a sommelier of SFU tap water, too. Ask him for his latest rating!

If you’ve chosen mostly D’s, you are Chunky Monkey:

Chunky Monkey is a not-so-closeted anime fan with a proud paunch and huge talent for singing. He deserves better. Chunky Monkey currently watches Evangelion, but his girlfriend does not like it. She will, however, join him for a session of Voltron.

If you’ve chosen mostly E’s, you are Lil’ Paw:

Lil’ Paw is the smallest and newest member of the gang. A genius. Be that as it may, there is no denying they are the kit of the litter. Being so cuddly and sweet-faced means only the hardest of hearts will not stop to call him a “cutie.” Their favorite activity is running around the campus having little adventures with their family.