Written by: Tiffany Chang, Peak Associate
Illustration by: Cora Fu
Game of Thrones characters can survive White Walkers, mad kings, and greyscale. But how would they handle being SFU students?
Joffrey is an entitled prince and would never study because he’d think he could pay his way through absolutely anything. Let’s be honest, the only reason why he’d probably be able to attend SFU is because mommy “negotiated” with higher-ups to let him in. Joffrey would be one of those pretentious, old-school political science majors who think poor people shouldn’t be allowed to vote because they don’t contribute to the economy. He’d strut into tutorial the week before an exam, demanding classmates give him their notes. The terrible incessant flirting with women during lecture would only lead to them throwing school supplies at him from all different angles while yelling, “You’re not the king of this landing, you little prick!”
Dany is a badass transfer student who would totally see SFU as a great opportunity to conquer more governing bodies. Dany would be quick about it, too-discreetly signing up for all the extracurricular stuff available on campus during Clubs Days. Then, after finding out when the meetings are, she’d go to every single one at the beginning of the semester to convince the clubs to band together and overthrow the SFSS. Oh, and her beyond-cool mode of transportation: a motorcycle called “The Dragon.”
Ah, yes. Just as much the former king’s wife as she is The Queen of Sucking Up. The perfect student putting in extra work, buying her profs breakfast, and visiting office hours every week. She does nothing inherently wrong of course. Sneaky, sneaky girl. Her main strategy: work hard to please the right people so she can know the ins and outs of everything. Margaery’s goal would be for everyone to like her. That’ll make it easier to get what she wants. She’d somehow work her way to achieving both the SFSS presidency and making the Dean’s Honour Roll during her degree at SFU. A few scholarships might be thrown her way too, who knows?
This kid’s got spunk and doesn’t let people push her around. This personality trait is useful when arguing with TAs or profs about being unhappy with a grade . . . I’ll bet in front of the entire lecture hall if that’s what it would take. Watch in awe as Arya intimidates them, sword in hand, into giving her a higher mark and make sure they change it before she’s satisfied enough to walk out to her next class, leaving them pale-faced and positively broken on the inside.
But her biggest advantage is her unfathomable determination, which has lead her to create The List. Arya’s roommate, Hotpie has confirmed she recites the names of all the classes and credits she’d need to graduate before going to sleep each night. Tucking into bed after a nighttime run, she’d lull herself to sleep muttering, “SA 105, ECON 230, large in-class presentation, PHIL 220 …”