Written by: Amal Javed Abdullah
Newfoundland
Likely the friendliest province in the country. Despite being bigger than PEI, you wouldn’t know it by living there. I know three different people who live in three totally different parts of Newfoundland and are unrelated to each other in every way, but still know each other because of how tiny it seems.
PEI
Home of Anne of Green Gables, romantic Atlantic landscapes, and vast, rolling farm fields. Probably the most almost-deads and newly-weds kind of province in this country.
Nova Scotia
I’ve been to Nova Scotia once. I learned that Scotia Bank was named after it. That was the most interesting thing about it. Moving swiftly on.
New Brunswick
NB is the only officially bilingual province, which means you can prove your lack of understanding of life in not one but two languages. Is je suis failing everything et je ne sais pas what is going on grammatically correct?
Quebec
Ah yes, Quebec, the rebellious teen who’s been trying run away from home for the past 40 years because they’re not accepted for who they are. Thanks, English Canada, for causing yet another minority group to feel like trash in their own home. Quebec is where you go if you want to flaunt your broken (read: shattered, disintegrated) French you learned in high school. Je ne sais pas is your very, very good friend in this province.
Ontario
Ontario, you get enough attention as is . . . how about we skip you for this round? No offense, bud — oh, whoops, you’ve already taken it.
Manitoba
I know that Winnipeg is the most populated city in Manitoba, but does civilization exist outside of it? Probably not. It’s mostly where the Canadian polar bear and moose stereotypes are real.
Saskatchewan
Also known as the province whose name the rest of the world cannot ever pronounce, we loved it as kids because it was the easiest to draw and easiest to colour in.
Alberta
Alberta, Alberta, you and your oil problems. Did you know James Gosling, the father of the Java programming language, is from here? Cool thing. You learn something new everyday.
BC
Voted Best Province in the Country by BC residents for 151 years straight, B.C is home of vegans, made-up health food (unicorn hair smoothie with extra pixie dust, anyone?), and ridiculously expensive everything. We go around and tell everyone about how we live in BC and love it. All the time.
Yukon
Was the capital of this territory Whiteknife or Yellowhorse? Maybe the horse was purple and the knife was green? Does anybody live up there who can tell us? Hello? Anybody?
Northwest Territories
Low-key, Kanye and Kim named their kid after this territory. That’s the most attention it’s ever gotten.
Nunavut
The one you could never remember how to spell on geography tests in elementary school. This one’s our baby, though. I used to tell the younger kids I was older than Nunavut to prove my wisdom and maturity. I sometimes still do. Maybe I’m the baby.
