It encourages a more sexually open and accepting community!
By Amelia Hill
With its enormous popularity, Fifty Shades quickly launched its readers into the world of BDSM — Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, and Masochism. While there has been controversy over the story’s depictions of BDSM, the reality is that the story is a fiction that, despite its flaws, has brought BDSM out of its previous taboo, and has created a more sexually open and accepting community.
I’d like to express clearly that the film and book are works of fiction. The actions are exaggerated and imagined, and don’t necessarily reflect the real world. Those who critique Fifty Shades for its disregard of values should be expected to hold the same distaste for action films, war films, and most any Hollywood drama. Fifty Shades combines overly dramatic occurrences purely to sell tickets.
But the mystery, intrigue, and extremes in the story have brought about a breakthrough for the BDSM community. Over 100 million copies of the book have been sold worldwide since the publication in 2011. These millions of readers were brought into a world which made them realize that it’s okay to find enjoyment in ‘kink.’
Millions of readers were brought into a world realizing that it’s okay to find enjoyment in ‘kink.’
When Hudsy Hawn, a professional BDSM educator was asked by BuzzFeed what she thought of Fifty Shades, she responded: “What I love is that it has brought the [. . .] BDSM community up close and personal to what we call the ‘vanilla’ general public.” I argue that this couldn’t be more true. As the series’ popularity has grown, BDSM supplies have become common in stores that were previously much more “vanilla.”
Whips and bondage material an now be found at La Senza, handcuffs and blindfolds can be found at Target, and a large expansion in the sex and lifestyle section has taken place at Chapters. Not only has this novel made BDSM more understood and accepted, but it has also increased the accessibility for those who choose to practice it.
To have less of a taboo surrounding BDSM means a more sexually accepting community. The book may not the ideal example of consent and respect, but it is a work of fiction based on a real subculture that has captured our imaginations and curiosity. The openness it has inspired has transformed our sex culture for the better.
Fifty Shades of Grey has encouraged the world to consider sex as no longer black and white.
It portrays unrealistic sex and encourages misogyny!
By Neelam Gandevia
While kinky sex can be fun, I do have a problem with how Fifty Shades of Grey distorts its portrayal of this sex, or BDSM. I wonder how little author E.L. James knew about BDSM when writing this story. I’ll admit that I won’t go near the film, when the book is so problematic on its own. Take this quote:
“Oh, Anastasia Steele, did you just roll your eyes at me?”
Crap.
“No,” I squeak.
“I think you did. What did I say I’d do to you if you rolled your eyes at me again?”
“Shit.”
This moment occurs just before the main character, Ana Steele, engages in any kind of BDSM. Along with the entire series, this passage parallels many stories about battered women.
“What did I say I’d do to you if you. . .” are the words of an abuser threatening a victim. Christian Grey’s behavior is dominant and abusive. The author makes excuses for Grey’s “deviant” sex behavior, and by the end of the story Grey is supposedly “cured” by Ana’s true love, thus portraying an unrealistic conclusion to these kinds of abusive relationships. Here unconsentual BDSM is portrayed as acceptable sexual abuse — something that Ana submits to even when she’s uncomfortable with it.
I’m worried that people will read the story and think that this sort behavior is okay.
For these reasons, Fifty Shades upsets so many members of the BDSM community: it portrays men as abusive control freaks, and women as meek and helpless. BDSM is about opening up your vulnerabilities and trusting your partner; limits and tolerances are discussed before play begins, and you can stop at any time, without fear or repercussion, if you’re uncomfortable.
Fifty Shades takes the classic ‘sexy rogue that needs taming’ archetype and includes poorly-written porn scenes that aren’t even that intense, turning itself into a misrepresentation meant to thrill and titillate.
So where does this leave people who want to try BDSM? I’m worried that Fifty Shades attaches a further stigma to BDSM and only furthers rape culture, and that people who aren’t properly educated on BDSM are going to engage in this activity improperly, and potentially hurt themselves.
Go ahead: Be curious about BDSM, talk with your friends or partner about it. Hell, go out and try it with someone you trust. But please do your research first to make sure you understand what this kind of sex actually entails.
Kinky sex can be great; just be aware of what’s fact and what’s fiction, because there’s a lot of fiction in Fifty Shades.
