Members of the Occupy Central movement were surprised this week to learn that one of their most vocal supporters, ex-Special Air Service commander Percival Harrington III, has only been encouraging the protests in hopes that Hong Kong will reunite with its former, more favourable ruler: Great Britain.
Putting the ‘civil’ back in ‘civil disobedience,’ the Occupy Central protests have been active since September 22. Formed in response to the Communist Party of China’s decision to select its own leader over those chosen by the people of Hong Kong, the pro-democracy protest has been attracting media attention from around the globe.
Harrington, a 77-year-old veteran of the Falklands War and several other British struggles of decolonization, has thus far been an outspoken supporter of the young protesters and their wishes for freedom — though his motives are only now coming to light.
“It’s good to see people finally realize the mistake of giving the Chinese sovereignty over Hong Kong,” Harrington told reporters. “I tell you, the moment you give the ‘natives’ any authority, it all goes down the loo and you’ve got civilization committing suicide.
“You just can’t trust them reds. One moment they’re shaking hands with you after fighting the Japanese and then bam, they take all your colonies right from under you in so-called national liberation.”
While still lamenting the loss of Hong Kong in 1997, Harrington remains hopeful for the future with the current protests and has publicly encouraged current Prime Minister David Cameron to take advantage of the situation immediately by conquering Hong Kong.
When asked what he would do if Westminster did not agree with his plan, Harrington assured reporters, “I’ve watched Apocalypse Now enough times to know that if the government doesn’t have the stones for it, then you need to set up a covert rebel army and do it yourself with music by The Doors playing menacingly in the background.”
Harrington proceeded to praise notably ruthless and oppressive governments of the past, including those of Apartheid-era South Africa and Rhodesia, then spoke of how he would govern Hong Kong based on their example. When told that these ideas contrast with the very demands of the protesters and have a rather colonialist slant, Harrington responded with: “It’s not colonialism if it stops communism!”
The irony of Harrington’s statements were not lost on the people of Hong Kong, as one anonymous male student protester commented with a simple, “Same shit, different day.”
Unfortunately for Harrington, his plans for annexation are likely to be forgotten, as rumours claim that the colonel suffers from extreme delusions caused by years of opium usage. The rumour has all but been confirmed by Harrington himself, who abruptly ended his interview, saying, “If you would excuse me chap, this bloody dragon keeps flying around the air and I feel the sudden urge to chase it.”
