Woohoo, boohoo

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Woohoo: hippos

Have you seen these things? They are flipping weird animals.

Hippopotamuses are the third-largest land mammal, and the heaviest of hoofed animals. Despite this, they can run 30 km/h in short bursts. They look like giant, cuddly guinea pigs (although their aggression would suggest that they are, in fact, not).

Sometimes I feel like we live in the world of Pokémon. Or we could, if we just lost our sense of normalcy. Do you remember the first time you saw a bulbasaur? How about a flamingo? Look up how a kangaroo gives birth, and remind yourself that those things really exist.

Hippos, or massive, swimming, naked guinea pigs, are a reminder of how amazing, weird, and ultimately unknowable our world is. Or at least how much it can be with a slight change of perception.

Know what else hippos are? Threatened. Like so many of their strange animal brethren. Let’s not forget to respect the world in which these creatures can exist.

Boohoo: hipsters

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against hipsters, precisely because they don’t exist. They stopped existing when this word lost all meaning.

“Hipster” seemed to first describe the pretentious people who care solely about irony and the teenaged dream of nonconformity. They are supposed to be those who put themselves on a pedestal, looking down on the rest of the world for not having heard of . . . that band.

But now, the word means anything. Like a local band? That’s hipster. Rolling up your sleeves? Don’t even ask.

Can’t we just accept that, to some extent, everyone is fashion-conscious, interested in arts, or exceptionally passionate about one thing, without that necessarily making them an ass-hole?

When you say “hipster,” ask yourself if you’re really thinking of those people from the past who seemed to think they were better than you. Ask yourself how much you built them up in your head, and remind yourself that they don’t matter.

Let go of those memories with which you only judge yourself, and go wear an ironic hat. Embrace fun, before you make yourself equal to the elusive “hipsters” we all love to hate.

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