Ten Manliest Movies

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mary astor the maltese falcon 3

The Maltese Falcon

It would be sacrilege to snub Bogie on this list, and though Casablanca is my personal favourite of his, The Maltese Falcon trades the former film’s subtlety and beauty for hard-boiled detective story charm. Humphrey stars as Sam Spade, a saucy, snarling PI sent to investigate a murder and a missing artifact. There’s slippery flatfoots, femme fatales and plenty of razor sharp dialogue — the film is basically a perfect introduction to the film noir flair that the forties had in spades. For an equally thrilling ride, seek out Dashiell Hammett’s novel, on which the film is based.

Citizen Kane

Orson Welles’ 1941 masterpiece, which some have called the greatest film of all time, is a powerful parable about the dangers of fame, greed, and selfishness. It’s also one of the ballsiest flicks in history, not-so-subtly based on the life of media mogul William Randolph Hearst. Not only is Citizen Kane one of the most notable classics of the Golden Age of cinema — of which every man should have some knowledge — it’s also a complex and moving tale of one man’s gradual disillusionment and decay, one that will inspire you to live a better life and be a better man.

12 Angry Men

Sidney Lumet’s first feature film was an adaptation of a teleplay by Reginald Rose about twelve jurors arguing over whether or not the defendant — whom we never meet — is guilty. Starring Henry Fonda in one of his best roles as an unnamed juror who refuses to vote guilty, the film is required viewing for those who want to learn how to handle prejudice, and influence your peers. The entire film takes place in a single room, and as each character’s viewpoint gradually changes, you’ll gain a valuable message about courage, determination and goodwill towards your fellow man.

Die Hard

Action movies aren’t always the best guides to gentlemanhood — the protagonists swear, treat women like objects and generally communicate through violence rather than words. Though Die Hard doesn’t exactly break these tropes, it does bend them, featuring a main character who gets beat up enough to seem like an actual human being. The film, which was directed by action veteran John McTiernan, features an equally manly performance by Alan Rickman, as the leader of a dangerous terrorist group.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Dum da dum dum, dum da dum… Raiders is the first and best entry of the Indiana Jones trilogy (Crystal Skull doesn’t count), featuring such classic sequences as the stone rolling through the tunnel and the Nazi face melting conclusion. Harrison Ford’s piss and vinegar performance as Indiana Jones is among the manliest of all film characters, one that continues to inspire men to wear fedoras, thinking they can recreate Indy’s suave adventurer charm. They can’t — and, most likely, neither can you — but that doesn’t make Raiders of the Lost Ark any less of an action adventure classic.

The General

Charlie Chaplin who? If you’re looking to get into silent films — a truly classy choice — there’s no better place to start than Buster Keaton’s magnum opus, The General. Released in 1926, the film was a flop with audiences and critics, although it’s hard to see why — Keaton’s astounding commitment to physical comedy and knack for simple storytelling make this one of the greatest films to come out of the silent era.

The Lord of the Rings

Believe it or not, some men still haven’t gotten around to seeing Peter Jackson’s awe-inspiring adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. Full of death-defying swordfights, family struggle, grandiose adventure, tests of friendship, and moments of sublime beauty, Jackson’s steady handed adaptation must be seen to be believed. However, I recommend searching out the extended versions — not only are they more faithful to the books, but they also work better as films, expanding the universe of Middle Earth and deepening the journeys of its characters.

The Civil War

Ken Burns’ epic documentary, which takes almost an entire waking day to watch in full, is well worth the time and effort. The film, which is made up entirely of photographs, period tunes, and interviews with historians and other experts, tells the full story of North America’s most devastating military conflict, one which divided our neighbour to the South and changed the face of the world as we know it. After hearing this film’s amazing true stories — from the bravery of the soldiers to the political genius of honest Abe — you’re bound to be inspired.

Raging Bull

A stark black and white portrait of anger, jealousy, and loneliness, Martin Scorsese’s masterful 1980 flick features Robert De Niro’s best and most memorable performance as Jake La Motta, an Italian-American middleweight boxer whose anger issues and abusive marriage lead him to a life of misery. Though this is hardly a film about boxing, the film’s scenes in the ring are among the most visually enthralling in cinema — never has bloodshed looked so beautiful.

Lawrence of Arabia

In the wake of Peter O’Toole’s death, Lawrence of Arabia is even more of a must watch. David Lean’s epic — and I mean epic — is a retelling of the life of T.E. Lawrence, the British Army hero who fought in the Middle East during World War I. O’Toole’s performance is emotionally complex and completely satisfying; his struggles with personal allegiance and the horrors of war is both unique and universal. Lean’s filmmaking is equally fantastic: the scene where Lawrence slowly morphs from a speck in the desert to a full-grown man is a grand reminder of what filmmaking can accomplish.

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