Step One: Drape the bow tie around your neck and hold both the ends. Make sure the right end is about an inch longer than the left.

Step Two: Cross the long end over the short end so that the two pieces are touching at the thinnest part of the bow tie. Make sure to leave a little breathing room.

Step Three: Pull the longer end around, making a loop between the two. The longer end should still be slightly longer than the short one. This process should make a knot.

Step Four: With the shorter end, make a fold to the side so that the large middle section of the end is folded and to the side. Hold the loop between your shirt’s collar point.

Step Five: Place the other end of the bow tie overtop of the folded end. Make sure it’s running along the middle of your shirt.

Step Six: Use the folded end to pinch the dangling end. Make sure you have a good hold on the long end and that the two pinched sides of the folded end are equal.

Step Seven: Feed the long end through the knot you made in step three.

Step Eight: Tighten the bow tie by pulling on the front and back of both ends equally. Keep doing this until it’s as tight and as even as you like it.

Step Nine: Walk out the door looking classy as fuck.