Staff Writer
BREAKING: Lost Welcome Leader Found in the Depths of RCB
October 16, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer Raccoon News was informed of a developing story at SFU’s Burnaby Mountain campus this afternoon. The authorities arrived at SFU after receiving calls about a former student and welcome leader who was found wandering the depths of the Robert C. Brown Hall (RCB). The welcome leader was reported missing in 1953 and is now the 114th person to be found and saved after getting lost in RCB Hall. Robert C. Brown Hall, dubbed “The Maze” by SFU’s students over the years, has been under intense construction since 2009; layers of scaffolding and boarded up doors…
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The Adult(erating) side of Sesame Street
October 11, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer, Extremely Apologetic Yet another classic cartoon is getting a makeover by the CW. This time, Sesame Street gets weird. Elmo becomes Emo in this reboot that never should have been. We apologize in advance for…
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Local student disappointed that icebreakers don’t involve actual ice (and other literal disappointments)
October 7, 2022By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, Staff Writer VANCOUVER — A student showed up to an icebreaker at the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts with an ice pick and giant ice cube. Onlookers described initially being in shock until they found out the…
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Here’s what you missed on Riverdale
October 5, 2022By: C Icart, staff writer There are currently 117 episodes of Riverdale. I have seen all of them. Any ridiculous plotline you can possibly think of has probably been done. At this point, I don’t think any of us can…
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An Ode To My Luvr
September 28, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Overly Devoted Staff Writer Dear Renaissance, Oh, how I love you so, You stand by me when I need you most; Your presence everlasting, unwavering, and eager — My life on the line, I would put…
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Reviewing Renaissance: The Best and The Worst
September 28, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Official Taste-Tester & Staff Writer Hey fellow students, it’s Hannah, and today I’m reviewing the esteemed Renaissance Café. The heart and soul of SFU Burnaby. Coffee. Muffins. Need I say more? As every dedicated student has done,…
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Horoscopes: September 19–24
September 19, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer Aries Go for a mocha this fall, Aries. It’s the perfect blend of sweetness and deep richness which energizes you just enough to make it through a productive day of studying and writing lecture notes.…
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Top five ways to figure out what to do when you walk into the wrong classroom
September 19, 2022By: C Icart, Staff Writer The fall semester has started, and students are again faced with the tremendous challenge of finding the right classroom. We’ve all done it. Confidently walked into a lecture hall, sat down in the front row…
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Dining with Sophistication: Culinary reviews by Reginald Trashpánda III
September 8, 2022By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer Rating: ★★★★★ Location: SFU Surrey, AKA Nirvana Food: Literally everything you could ever imagine. Ever. Five star experience, my friends. Taste the stars at this lovely campus! It is I, your beloved Reginald Trashpánda III,…
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Dining with Sophistication: Brunch at the trash cannery
August 9, 2022By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer Restaurant: Cornerstone Organic Bins Rating: ★★★ Location: Univercity Burnaby Mountain Appetizer: Egg in hash brown basket Entrée: Quiche Dessert: Fruit Salad Wine: Pét-Nat Yesterday was my mother’s birthday celebration and we had the pleasure of…
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