Mason Mattu
Lana Del Rey’s hologram to headline Fall Kickoff
July 24, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Picture this: Lana Del Rey, singing Chemtrails Over The Country Club, frantically flying over an audience, and waving her arms like a fairy all at the same time. At first, you think, “Goddamn. What an iconic show.” Her body is see-through, radiant, and emits a green light. You knew Lana was ethereal, but didn’t know she was this perfect. Then, you squint. Your eyes think something’s playing tricks on them. Did Lana just — did she . . . glitch? That, indeed, is not Lana Del Rey. It’s her hologram. And guess what, SFU? It’s…
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Gossip Peakie: The messiah, not-so-hot frat bros, and squirrels
July 9, 2025By: Gossip Peakie Hey Burnaby Mountain dwellers. Gossip Peakie here, your one and only source for all the hot goss you’re trying to shove off the edge of this mountain. Did you really think one blog was enough to expose…
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Peak Speaks: If the walls could talk
July 1, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor We asked our friends on the SFU subreddit: If the walls at SFU could talk, what would they say? u/dash101: “Let’s stick together, or this place might fall apart!” u/YoManWTFIsThisShit: “Can someone tell the undergrads…
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SFU pianos quietly recycled due to poor condition
July 1, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Located in the heart of the Transportation Centre, adjacent to the Student Union Building, inside the Discovery 1 foyer, and at West Mall Centre level 3000, pianos were once open for students and members of…
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Random thoughts from the editor: Global cooling
July 1, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor If everyone places 10 gallons of ice cream on the pavement, will global warming be . . . solved? If so, how do I measure 10 gallons or buy ice cream with my arts degree?…
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2025 song of the summer shortlist
June 25, 2025By: Ashima Shukla, Staff Writer and Mason Mattu, Humour Editor It’s June, and the vibes are off. We’re in a climate apocalypse, the billionaires are feeling victimized, the aux cord is haunted, and we still don’t have a song of…
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Excerpts from a blogging mom: Cancel culture cookies
June 18, 2025By: Sheela McGummery, Peak Columnist Hello, world! My name is Sheela McGummery and I blog about my life as a mommy of five kiddos! I am a proud conservative woman of the suburbs and I bake to fill my life…
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My letter to the News Editor: It’s time to put the fake back in news
June 13, 2025By: Zainab Salam, Concerned Staff Writer Dear Hannah (The Peak’s News Editor), I write to you today as both a concerned member of the SFU student body and a staff writer for The Peak. With every passing day, I become…
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Peak Speaks: Answers from r/simonfraser!
June 9, 2025By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Q: If you had to marry a building on campus, which one would it be and why? u/Matt_The_Slime: “Marry the library, wait for it to die from asbestos poisoning, take all its money after. EZ.”…
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