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Lighting up Vancouver with the Firecracker Department

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A red brick building with the words “Yaletown roundhouse community centre” on the top. Attached to it is a section made up of glass windows.
PHOTO: Aria Amirmoini / The Peak

By: Maria Fernanda Osorio Arredondo, SFU Student

Passion was palpable among the artists present at the Vancouver Firecracker Department launch on Saturday, September 28. Initially a podcast created by award-winning actor Naomi Snieckus, the Firecracker Department grew into an international community of women and gender-non-conforming people “empowering each other to take creative action through education.” 

Through interviews with women and non-binary artists, the Firecracker Department aims to platform diverse voices and their experiences in the TV and film industry. The original podcast perfectly represents film director and producer Ava DuVernay’s quote,I’m not going to continue knocking that old door that doesn’t open for me. I’m going to create my own door and walk through that.” The Firecracker Department launch party, celebrated at the beginning of fall, was a launch not of the podcast itself, but of the community’s presence in Vancouver. 

The Blaze Sessions, a subsector of the Firecracker Department’s original podcast, is Snieckus’s way of challenging the TV and film industry’s prevalent sexism and frequent exclusion of minorities. Jennifer Podemski, co-host of Blaze Sessions season two, invites her auditors to visit The Shine Network Institute website and partake in the Pledge-Activate-Cultivate-Thrive (PACT) as a part of actionable allyship. PACT aims to empower non-Indigenous professionals within the screen sector, with tools, resources, and best practices required to foster healthy relationships with Indigenous partners and team members.”

At the Firecracker Department’s opening party in Vancouver, I had the pleasure of meeting bilingual scriptwriter Jessica Tremblay. A published haiku poet, Tremblay “fell in love” with script writing when she discovered the screenplay for Alien (1979) was written in haiku form.

The podcast emerged during a time of political turmoil, something that Snieckus used to channel her anger and make it constructive.

As the winner of the “From Our Dark Side” competition (now known as The Genre Film Lab), Tremblay was mentored by Women in Film and Television Vancouver to create Storage, her first feature. This film, Tremblay told The Peak, “demonstrates how parents can be monsters and monsters can be parents.”  

During the inauguration ceremony, Snieckus recounted the origin story of the Firecracker Department. The podcast emerged during a time of political turmoil, something that Snieckus used to channel her anger and make it constructive. Uplifting marginalized voices in the film and TV industry was her way to push this division to the side.  

One of Saturday’s highlights was the presentation of the Blaze Award to actress Veena Sood, who I had the honour of talking to and complimenting her splendid coral saree. She was introduced by producer Krista Rand as “this amazing woman who has been carving the path for all of us.” 

In a phone interview with The Peak, Sood said she found improvement in “producing [her] own plays” and being a “self-generating artist.” She talked fondly of her mentor, Keith Johnstone, and emphasized that “the journey is the payoff.” 

Entering the art world can be scary, particularly for someone with a marginalized identity. Competition is fierce and disappointment is common, which is why to become an artist, it is crucial to love the journey. The women and non-binary individuals present at the Firecracker Department launch strongly believe in not only their own creativity, but also in that of others. It’s truly beautiful witnessing how we can uplift each other so that we can all contribute to building an ethereal world of the arts. 

Listen to the Firecracker Department podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube

SFU students to perform at Bound! The Musical

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Left: A white woman looking over her shoulder smiling at the camera. Right: A black man in a turtleneck looking at the camera.
PHOTOS: Courtesy of Ashley Ross Studios and Anita Alberto

By: Yasmin Hassan, Staff Writer

Shakespeare’s work lives on in plays, adaptations, and apparently the fictional town of Middleburg? Running from November 19 to 20 at the Metro Theatre, Bound! The Musical inspired by Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost will bring plenty of laughs, catchy songs, and heart. Two SFU alumni, Mugasha Rutega and Sophia Pollock, will be playing the characters Cameron and Jasmine. The Peak had the chance to speak with them to find out more about this upbeat show.

The story kicks off when the townspeople of Middleburg accidentally turn their home into a new country under a wacky president. Four athletes are recruited as the country’s Olympians and soon clash with a group of four curious researchers who study them. On the surface it may look like nothing serious, but there is a strict rule against fraternizing — something that leads to a whole mess of problems and rule-breaking. The musical uses “classic Shakespearean tropes like forbidden love, disguises, and wordplay.” Through these elements, co-writers Wayne Morris and Glen Freedman bring relatable characters, humour, and charm to this story navigating life’s twists and turns.

Rutega is a fourth year student in the School of Communication, finishing his final year at SFU with two years of videography under his belt. He grew up around music and theatre, and continues to be, saying he “never stopped singing,” by continuing to play guitar and go to open mics. 

“Right now it’s more-so just mixing the acting and the singing together, because the song is a story,” Rutega noted about his preparation for the musical. “Honestly, it has been a bit of a learning curve.” 

His character, Cameron, who Rutega describes as the “pseudo-leader,” is a supposed hotshot who “suffers from high confidence, low self esteem,” and doesn’t necessarily value monogamy. For a character that has “always wanted more,” the pledge against fraternizing stands as a test of which he becomes a catalyst, as he’s the first one to give in. Rutega states that Cameron’s “personal transformation comes when he realizes that he doesn’t need more” than his lover a mindset that he, himself, had to confront to play the character. 

Starting off as a general science student, Pollock is now a third year English major with hopes of becoming a high school English and drama teacher. “I grew up in theatre and was trained at Lindbjerg Academy, which was a truly transformational place in my development as an artist and as a human being,” Pollock said. She also noted that her training in New York at the Stella Adler Studio of Acting, with the Arts Club’s Actor’s Intensive in Vancouver, as well as her involvement in SFU’s University Christian Ministries, helped her pursue her passion for theatre. 

Pollock’s character, Jasmine, is a quiet wallflower who has been stripped of her self confidence. She moves the plot along as her lover, Antonio, creates the pledge, setting the plot in motion. “It is a super empowering role to play and has taught me a lot about what it means to be resilient,” Pollock said as, in the musical, Jasmine gradually “steps into her own” and takes her voice back.

The audience can expect to see themselves in these characters, while also seeing the humour and Shakespearean charm translated into a modern show. Musical theatre is something that is so special when seen live, and as Pollock says, “get out there and support artists in your community!”

Catch Bound! The Musical at the Metro Theatre (1370 S.W. Marine Dr., Vancouver). Tickets can be purchased at tickets.metrotheatre.com for $25.

Hidden Gems: Slurp-worthy ramen spots

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A bowl of noodles topped with charred meat, beansprouts, bamboo shoots, and chopped mushrooms.
PHOTO: Izzy Cheung / The Peak

By: Izzy Cheung, Arts & Culture Editor

Torimaru Ramen 

88 W Pender St., Vancouver  
Monday–Friday 11:30 a.m.–7:00 p.m. 

A tiny food court stall, Torimaru Ramen is located in the International Village Mall. Their menu is relatively small, but any bowl of ramen that you order from them is bound to be packed with rich flavours that are soaked up by their thin and chewy noodles. Their black ramen is topped with black garlic oil that gives the broth the perfect kick of salt, and their bowls are generously topped with two large pieces of pork chashu — something that doesn’t happen as much nowadays (I find that most places only give you one, unless otherwise specified).  

Akedo Showten 

#102 20218 Fraser Hwy., Langley  
 Every day 11:30 a.m.–8:00 p.m. 

Akedo Showten is a must-try for those in the Langley area who are looking for a warm bowl of noodles to soothe their soul. Their specialty is chicken-based ramen, resulting in thin, thread-like noodles doused in a milky broth. Despite this, Akedo Showten also serves up a vegan ramen made with a soy-based broth and topped with a multitude of crunchy and colourful vegetables. While they had an outpost in New Westminster that has since closed, their convenience store is located just around the corner from their restaurant and is ready to supply unique snacks and other Japanese products. 

Ramen Bella Poco 

#18 2755 Lougheed Hwy., Port Coquitlam 
Monday–Thursday 11:00 a.m.–9:00 p.m.
Friday–Saturday 11:00 a.m.–9:30 p.m. 
Sunday 11:30 a.m–8:30 p.m. 

With the largest menus on this list, Ramen Bella Poco is no stranger to diverse taste profiles. They offer two meat-based broths, chicken or pork, as well as some vegan options with tofu as the main protein component. Non-noodle fans can enjoy their rice bowls or tonkatsu sets, or load up on appetizers such as their red-drizzled spicy gyoza. Craving ramen for a later date? No problem! Ramen Bella Poco sells frozen versions of five different types of their ramen — they’re a great meal option at the end of a long day or if you’re not in the mood for cooking. 

Ramen Gaoh 

4518 Hastings St., Burnaby 
Sunday–Thursday 12:00 p.m.–9:30 p.m. 
Friday–Saturday 12:00 p.m.–10:00 p.m. 

Ramen Gaoh’s specialty is miso, a type of ramen soup known for its rich, nutty, and umami-infused flavour. Their dishes vary from ramen with customizable spice levels to yuzu citrus chicken-based noodles. While Ramen Gaoh definitely has a sumptuous selection from their spread of ramen, their gyoza can’t be overlooked. With five different types of these pan-fried dumplings, including their mushroomy truffle parmesan and warm green matcha vege, this restaurant is the perfect place to hop on the R5 and stop by after a long lecture on a rainy day. 

Kamamarui Ramen & Don 

6541 Royal Oak Ave., Burnaby 
Every day 11:30 a.m.–9:30 p.m. 

A cute hole-in-the-wall that’s a six-minute bus ride away from Metrotown, Kamamarui Ramen & Don gets its cozy vibes from their simple and square wooden benches and tables. Diners get the choice between two types of broth, regular or rich, as well as adding or subtracting the preset toppings. Alongside your bowl of steaming-hot noodles, you can order some of their “bomb” appetizers. From seaweed-sprinkled rice balls to ajitama (soft-boiled) eggs, Kamamarui Ramen & Don provides visitors with a quaint and friendly dining experience. 

Police officers help the pigs who outran them

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Two police officers chasing pigs in front of a school playground. There are children behind the fence cheering for the pigs to escape.
ILLUSTRATION: Cindy Wang / The Peak

By: Yildiz Subuk, Staff Writer

Content warning: mention of police shooting.

Recently, a pair of escaped pigs ran loose across a field outside of an elementary school in West Kelowna. Multiple police officers attempted to apprehend the two pigs, but the scene soon became rowdy once a group of children started cheering, “Go pigs, go!!!” This led to widespread confusion among the adults present who weren’t sure which side of the chase the encouragement was for. 

At first, the officers felt encouraged, thinking the kids believed in the value of law enforcement. However, after the pigs displayed an NFL level of running and dodging the opponent, it soon became clear whose side the kids were on.

The officers’ go-to approach (shoot them and say they were getting aggressive), ended up being replaced with a strategy usually reserved for white offenders: catching the runaways alive. According to bystander accounts, this prompted the children to groan, “Aw the pig got caught.” 

The pigs were taken in by a pig sanctuary, where they will live peacefully until their owners reclaim them. Many called it the good ending to Animal Farm, where instead of forming an authoritarian government, the pigs were taken to a nice little farm where they could live in peace and not worry about exploiting the other animals. 

The amused children were soon escorted back to class, but got to see something quite extraordinary — a police officer not using excessive force on someone innocent. 

This also saved the police department’s PR team a ton of work, as now they don’t have to worry about drafting a statement about how “the officer has been suspended (with pay), and will face serious consequences (relocation to another geographical area).”

This whole situation was quite a change of pace for all the living beings involved. The officers got to protect the vulnerable instead of oppressing the poor and the pigs disproved the negative stereotypes about them by lapping everyone in the schoolyard. Ultimately, the pigs also got lucky as most people in their position would be faced with a sinister reality — the Canadian legal system

SFU Student Bulletin: Week of November 11–17

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Graphic that reads “Student updates.”
ILLUSTRATION: Courtesy of The Peak

By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate

Dear SFU students, while you’re busy doomscrolling post-US election, please don’t forget to read this student bulletin. 

Important Announcements

Are you ready to get lucky this win-ter by entering the snoring contest? Since it’s cozy season now, we’re giving you a chance to win soundproofing materials for your bedroom so that you’ll never disturb other people again! All you have to do is record yourself snoring the best snores, send it to [email protected], and you’re all set! Winners will be announced on December 10 and chosen based on snoring volume, strength, technique, and confidence.

Is your mind still jet-lagged from the one-hour shift into daylight savings mode? This is your reminder to fix your sleep schedule. It’s been over a week; get over it! Don’t let that extra hour on November 3 stop you from following your dreams in real life!

Random holidays worth considering:

Nov 12: National Chicken Soup for the Soul Day. Take a break from taking out leftover turkey from the freezer, and have some chicken for a change. Don’t forget to play some Ray Charles while the soup is simmering to really infuse the soul into it. 

Nov 16: International Check Your Wipers Day. You need to check up on your wipers once in a while because while you drive in the rain they never get any brakes! Don’t tire out your car, it’s already got exhaust-ion 25/8. 

Nov 17: National Home-Made Bread Day. Celebrate this Loave-ember by adopting some of your sister’s sourdough starter. Good luck raising your yeast Tamagotchi

Activities

Time for a Quick Cute Quiz! 

Your new pet cat is shy but you want them to get more comfortable around you. What strategy will you use to get your cat to open up to you more?

  1. If your response had something to do with food or treats, that’s a decent start. Your score is 120.
  2. If your response was related to toys and playing with the cat, then your score is 105. What’s a better icebreaker than doing something to satisfy their taste buds?
  3. If your plan is specifically to invite your cat to sit beside you on the living room couch after preparing a delicious fish dinner for your cat to munch on while you both binge comedy shows on the large flat screen TV, then you have the highest IQ possible: 160 and beyond! That is the best idea!
  4. If your response does not fall under A, B, nor C, I trust that you still gave an intelligent answer so your score is 145.

Advice Corner (but not to make you feel cornered): Are you stressed to be the best dressed this sweater weather season? Don’t sweat it. SFU Dress2Impress club is hosting a fashion drop-in session on November 30 to help you choose the best outfits to match the coolest modern trends (including dressing like a professor). Register today to guarantee your spot! (Please register, Stacy and Clinton are trying to revive their careers post-What Not To Wear).

The phone call drama between Furstenau and Rustad

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John Rustad sadly listening to music in front of a window. It is raining outside.
ILLUSTRATION: Abigail Streifel / The Peak

By: Maria Fernanda Osorio Arredondo, SFU Student 

Sonia Furstenau was in her popular era after the initial count of votes of the 2024 provincial election. Since no party had enough seats to form the majority in the 93-seat legislature, the two seats of the Green Party held a decisive political power. That’s why BC Conservative leader John Rustad called Furstenau about a week ago to convince her to be his bestie. However, the Green party’s leader told The Tyee that “she didn’t answer because she didn’t recognize the number.” In more diplomatic words, Sonia declared she wouldn’t call Rustad back until he took accountability for being a jerk. Rustad’s attempt to befriend Frustenau ended up being pointless because, after judicial recounts, the NPD won the October 19 election with a total of 47 seats. The Green Party remained with its two seats, while the Conservative Party went from 45 seats to 44. In honour of your political loss and rejected phone call, Rustad, this playlist is for you. 

Rich, White, Straight Men
By Kesha

Rustad, have you ever been asked to describe yourself in three words? Look no further; Kesha has the answer. (Unlike Furstenau, who doesn’t answer.) Being able to self reflect after being rejected shows maturity. Seriously, you should use this song as guided meditation. Kesha’s lyrics, “What if rich, white, straight men / Didn’t rule the world anymore?” will scare you more than informed citizens, but I’ve heard that facing your fears is good. It’s all about self care, babe.

Dancing with Your Ghost” 
By Sasha Alex Sloan 

Embracing heartbreaks is part of life. Sometimes, you have to learn to dance in the rain. Or if you get ghosted by Sonia Furstenau, learn to dance with the ghost of the BC Green leader. To get the support from the Greens, Furstenau recommends you stop yelling at the sky and start talking about the “racist, dehumanizing, homophobic, conspiratory” statements by Conservative candidates. 

Take My Hand” 
By Jeremy Dutcher 

Do I need to take your hand and guide you to common sense? I had to include a song by a queer Indigenous artist because I haven’t forgotten how you compared gender and sexuality education to residential schools last year. Take a history class if you don’t want your party’s rise to become history. 

Hot to Go!
By Chappell Roan 

The Earth will be “Hot to Go!” with your climate change policies. The climate emergency is non-fiction. Please, stop saying it’s an “anti-human agenda.” I don’t want to live in a 199 degree world. (P.S. Are you really surprised Furstenau didn’t pick up?)

Call Me Maybe” 
By Carly Rae Jepsen 

Listen, John, I’m not an advisor to the Conservative party, but I have a suggestion. Learn “Call Me Maybe” and then perform it to Sonia Furstenau to convince her to call you back. She’ll call you — maybe.

Need to Know, Need to Go: SFU’s free fall activities

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A glass window with the words “community kitchen” printed sideways. A wooden door with the number 2125 on a board sits beside it.
PHOTO: Prerita Garg / The Peak

By: Manal Kashif, SFU Student

The fall season can feel a bit lonely as the gloomy weather takes over. However, you can rest assured, as SFU Burnaby has several events planned for the upcoming month — grab your friends or head on over to make some new ones!

SFSS Out on Campus Movie Nights
Out on Campus Lounge, SUB 2230 (SFU Burnaby)
Every Tuesday, 4:30 p.m.7:00 p.m.

Out on Campus (OOC) “is a department of the SFU Student Society dedicated to supporting 2SLGBTQIA+ students and allies.” This recurring event takes place every Tuesday evening in the OOC Lounge, where students are welcome to watch a fun movie or TV show and meet other community members. 

SFU Fall Poetry Salon
Department of English, AQ 6093 (SFU Burnaby)
Friday, November 15, 3:30 p.m.4:30 p.m.

Are you a literary enthusiast or a poet at heart? If so, you might like to attend the SFU Fall Poetry Salon, where SFU English alum Saba Pakdel will be doing a reading from her recently launched poetry chapbook, Un-Composed. There’s no need to RSVP; come spend an evening discussing poetry over light refreshments in the English department. 

Meet, Greet, & Eat — Gratitude Creation
Global Student Centre, AQ 2013 (SFU Burnaby)
Thursday, November 21, 12:30 p.m.2:00 p.m.

If you’re looking to expand your horizons and meet new people during mid-class breaks, then you will enjoy this series hosted by the Global Student Centre and Creative Collective. Bring your lunch and make new friendships by partaking in the “crafts and games” provided. This upcoming theme, “Gratitude Creation,” is curated to help you practise mindfulness and gratitude in creative ways.  

Embark Sustainability Community Kitchen
 SUB Community Kitchen, room #2125 (SFU Burnaby)
Wednesday, November 27, 5:30 p.m.9:30 p.m. 

As students, it can sometimes be difficult affording the type of food our bodies crave. You may even find yourself missing the feeling of a home-cooked meal. That’s why you should check out Embark Sustainability’s Community Kitchen! They offer a space for students to explore their culinary ambitions by cooking a “vegetarian or plant-based meal.” Their aim is to provide food to the community at no cost, and this event is just one of their many initiatives towards that goal.

I researched this so you don’t have to: Immigration policy in Canada

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A photo of multiple forms and letters related to Canadian immigration
PHOTO: Morgan / Flickr

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer

Canadian immigration policy has risen to the forefront of national discussion lately, in large part due to newly announced resident targets. On Thursday, October 24, immigration minister Marc Miller shared the country’s updated plan to shrink the number of people admitted into Canada for the next three years. In a world where politics can easily feel inaccessible and out of reach, information is empowering and valuable. This article is written to provide some clarity on the confusion and uncertainty people may feel about a policy that affects them and others. Hopefully this article helps you feel even a tiny bit more aware and connected.

There are two types of immigration into the country: temporary and permanent. Canada uses the Express Entry system to select applicants for permanent residency. Using a points system, candidates are selected on the basis of “language skills, education, work experience, a valid job offer, [and] a nomination from a province or territory.” Additionally, the government considers “gaps that exist in Canada’s labour market.” Outside of economic contribution, there is also a goal to “help people in vulnerable situations find safety in Canada,” as well as the reunification of families. Temporary residents generally fall into four categories: students, workers, visitors, and temporary resident permit holders. Applicants apply under the group in which they fit. 

Every year, Canada sets a target for the number of immigrants that will be admitted into the country. This is called the Immigration Levels Plan. According to a government press release, various stakeholders, including the general public, businesses, and government departments, “have an opportunity to tell us what they think about the targets before they are finalized.”

The updated Immigration Levels Plan for the next three years is as follows: Canada plans to admit 395,000 permanent residents in 2025, 380,000 in 2026, and 365,000 in 2027. These numbers represent not only a decrease from 2024’s target of 485,000, but also a decline in the original projections for the years to come. In a press release dated a year prior, the country planned to admit 500,000 in 2025 and 2026. 

“In response to the evolving needs of our country, this transitional levels plan alleviates pressures on housing, infrastructure, and social services.” — Canadian government

For the first time, the government will also include metrics for temporary residents. The plan accounts for 673,650 people in 2025, 516,600 in 2026, antd 543,600 in 2027. Overall, Canada will reduce “the share of its temporary residents from the current 6.2% of the total population to 5% by the end of 2026.” As part of this endeavor, the country has already limited international student permits as well as temporary foreign workers. In the case of students, Canada plans to issue 437,000 study permits in 2025 and 2026, down from the 485,000 figure of 2024.

So why are these numbers generally trending downward? In short, Canada “didn’t get the balance quite right,” according to Prime Minister Trudeau. While limiting immigration may seem out of character for the Liberal Party, there are several reasons why they may have chosen this approach. Trudeau and immigration minister Miller sought to provide context for this decision, saying that as the country reopened following pandemic restrictions, “the needs of businesses were greater than the supply of workers available to support their recovery.” Miller added that steps were taken to attract talent from around the world, which helped support Canada’s workforce while preventing a recession.

The news release states that “this transitional levels plan alleviates pressures on housing, infrastructure, and social services,” allowing to “grow our economic and social prosperity through immigration.” This plan projects a decrease in the housing supply gap “by approximately 670,000 units by the end of 2027.”

While the housing crisis is significant, there are other factors relevant to this decision worth mentioning. 2024 data from the Environics Institute shows that 58% of Canadians think the country “accepts too many immigrants.” This is the largest percentage on record since 1998. While this number seems to go up, public opinion on the Prime Minister appears to trend in the opposite direction, as Trudeau faces “calls within his party to step down,” as per The Guardian

But while some may be critical of “permissive” immigration policies of the past, others take greater issue with Trudeau’s new shift in policy. “We are witnessing one of the most egregious rollbacks of migrant rights in Canadian history,” said Syed Hussan, spokesperson for the Migrant Rights Network. “Cutting permanent resident numbers is a direct assault on migrants, who will be forced to remain temporary or become undocumented, pushed further into exploitative jobs,” he added. Migrant Rights Network asserts that migrants are a convenient scapegoat for the country’s housing crisis, among other challenges. 

Bright-er Side: Early Christmas movie binges

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Illustration of a laptop and cup of hot chocolate on a desk in front of a window. Outside the window is green and yellow-orange foliage.
ILLUSTRATION: Yan Ting Leung / The Peak

By: Mason Mattu, Peak Associate

It’s November 1 at around midnight. You know it’s officially Christmas after seeing Mariah Careydefrost” on her socials. Ah, what a feeling. Instead of celebrating Christmas starting in November, there is indeed a select number of us who watch Christmas movies starting in . . . September. 

Oh, the sudden urge to wear an ugly Christmas sweater in the middle of the fall and to plan a Christmas Eve party for two months. 

For context’s sake, I am currently writing this article at the end of October. You will probably be reading this in the early to mid-November. At the time of my writing, I have already watched a dozen Christmas movies, made a Christmas to-do list, and created a plan to decorate my living space. 

And before you ask me — “Mason, did someone shake your snow globe too hard?” — the answer is no. Being the journalist I am, I always give the truth, and nothing but the truth. There is something absolutely beautiful about partaking in the Christmas experience in October. It is definitely scientifically proven (according to the Mason-metre) to make you more joyful, create lasting memories, and return a childhood spirit to your week.

It might be too late for you to join me in celebrating Christmas in September/October of this year, but promise me you will next year. I don’t want to hear boo-humbug! 

What Grinds Our Gears: Microwaves

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A hand closing a microwave with a bowl inside
PHOTO: adrian_ilie825 / Adobe Stock

By: Petra Chase, Editor-in-Chief

There are a lot of reasons to appreciate the convenience of microwaves. But today I want to complain about the things no one ever talks about!

I get that a cooling fan is loud but needed for the microwave to work, but why do microwaves also have to make such loud clicking noises to open and close? And why do the buttons need to be so loud?

Can you imagine if every appliance in your house required multiple loud beeps for using it? I don’t want to hear about the psychology of aural feedback, I just want you to imagine your toaster announcing click-blip-blip-bloop-click-hummmm-DING DING DING to the whole house when you’re having your 2:00 a.m. toast. Some things are just meant to be inconspicuous.

And don’t get me started on the “popcorn” button. Why does every single microwave have this button when popcorn bags all say “Don’t use the popcorn button?” Do the popcorn companies have beef with microwaves I’m not aware of?

Speaking of beef, you know what no one ever talks about? The fact that shared microwaves always have some mysterious splatter inside them that no one cleaned up because there’s no accountability for shared appliances. I prefer to reheat my food on the stove in a clean pot than in this sensory nightmare of a box that’s zapping an unknown substance into it.